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Meister Eckhart

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Meister Eckhart

Education and culture were the two driving forces behind European urban development in the 13th and 14th centuries. Among the mendicant orders that had settled in the cities were the Dominicans (ordo fratrum praedicatorum), dedicated to promoting in their teaching, way of life, and preaching the ideal of man’s self-discovery—self-cultivation—as a singular cultural value. The dynamics of this self-discovery can be said to be two-fold. For, on one hand, man discovers himself by liberating himself from himself and therewith finding—in himself—what transcends him. On the other hand, what man finds in himself displays its own movement as all that remains when his self-discovery has reached its end. In this developmental context, Meister Eckhart directed his theoretical analysis towards elucidating the self-movement of intellect as such, in its differentiation, as a movement representing in practical terms the only possible form of life. Indeed, in this era of radical social upheaval, Eckhart put forward the dynamics of intellect (reason, rationality) as the genuine wealth possessed by those who are poor in spirit. His philosophical formulations and theological statements served, in their reciprocal convergence, to unfold in theoretical terms the dynamics of intellect with a view to recommending the practice of processive reason as the exemplary form of life. Eckhart explained these dynamics mostly on the basis of texts from the Holy Scriptures, whose philosophical content he set out through philosophical arguments—something he was able to do because he regarded the Holy Scriptures as a work of philosophy (cf. Echardus, In Ioh. n. 444; LW III, 380, 12–14: “evangelium contemplatur ens in quantum ens”: “the Gospel treats of being insofar as it is being”—Aristotle, as was well known, having defined the object of metaphysics in precisely this manner). Yet Eckhart’s explanations of these dynamics were also based on philosophical theses closely linked to notions from the Holy Scriptures. In both cases, he claimed to give unreserved expression to the new and rare (nova et rara) in propagating what was for him the only possible form of life: that of processive reason or of processes directed by reason. In so doing, Meister Eckhart dedicated his life to philosophy: as a philosopher holding a chair of theology at the University of Paris, as a philosopher leading the Dominican Order, and as a philosopher occupying the preacher’s pulpit.

  • Life of Meister Eckhart
  • Works
  • Dietrich of Freiberg and Meister Eckhart
  • The Absolute Principle as Intellect without Being
  • Univocal Causality
  • One as Unity
  • Conclusion
  1. Life of Meister Eckhart

Eckhart was born in 1260 in Hochheim (Thuringia). He entered the Dominican Order quite early, and received most of his education in the Studium Generale in Cologne that Albert the Great had founded in 1248. In 1286 Eckhart went to Paris to study. From 1294 until 1298, he was Prior of the Convent of Erfurt, at the same time carrying out the office of Vicar of Thuringia. Eckhart was promoted to Master of Theology at Paris in 1302 and taught as Professor there in the academic year 1302/1303. He was elected Provincial of the newly founded Province of Saxony in 1303, and held this office until 1311. In 1307 Eckhart also took over the administration of the Province of Bohemia as Vicar General. When the Provincial Chapter of the Province of Teutonia elected him Provincial in 1310, the election was not accepted by the General Chapter in Naples (1311). Instead, Eckhart was sent once more to Paris. After teaching there for a second period, Eckhart went to Strasbourg in 1313, where from 1314 to 1322 he was increasingly active as a preacher caring for Dominican convents there. From 1323 on, Eckhart resided in Cologne, most likely at the Studium Generale, and probably as Lecturer. During this time, the campaigns against him began that led, in 1326, to the opening of an inquisitional proceeding. In its course Eckhart submitted a reply to the syllabus of errors attributed to him, protesting as well against the proceeding itself, which was then continued at the Papal Court in Avignon. It resulted in the papal bull In agro dominico from Pope John XXII, issued on March 27, 1329, condemning 17 articles from this syllabus as heretical and 11 more as suspect of heresy. Eckhart, however, did not live to see his condemnation; he died sometime before April 30, 1328—probably on January 28, 1328, possibly in Avignon.

  1. Works

At the beginning of the academic year 1293/94 Eckhart held an inaugural lecture (Collatio in libros Sententiarum) that has been preserved. An academic sermon, the Sermo Paschalis a. 1294 Parisius habitus and the Tractatus super oratione dominica date from the same time. Between 1294 and 1298 Eckhart composed his Instructional Talks (Die rede der underscheidunge), table-talks for his confratres in the Erfurt monastery. From his first teaching period in Paris (1302/03) come the Quaestiones (Quaestio Parisiensis I, II and therationes Equardi from one of the disputed questions of Gonsalvus Hispanus), as well as theSermo die beati Augustini Parisius habitus, a feast-day sermon in honor of Augustine (August 18, 1302 or February 28, 1303), and perhaps two other Quaestiones. Between 1303 and 1310, during a General Chapter, Eckhart held the Sermones on Ecclesiastics 24: 23–27a and 24: 27b–31. In 1305 he began composing the Opus tripartitum, his major work, comprising three parts: the Opus propositionum (Work of Theses), with over 1,000 theses in 14 treatises, the Opus quaestionum (Work of Problems) and the Opus expositionum(Work of Interpretations). Much of the Opus tripartitum remained incomplete. What we have are the Prologus generalis in opus tripartitum, the Prologus in opus propositionum, thePrologus in opus expositionum I and II, and various commentaries (above all the Expositio sancti evangelii secundum Iohannem). Also preserved is an Opus sermonum containing drafts of Latin sermons. From the Strasbourg and Cologne period come the treatise Daz buoch der goetlîchen troestunge and the sermon Von dem edeln menschen. (The authenticity of the treatise Von abegescheidenheit has been disputed in the past, but it has been recently accepted once more as a work of Eckhart.) The most important German sermons also go back to this last period. Among these is Predigt 52, which due to its extremely innovative content was later translated from Middle High German into Latin.

  1. Dietrich of Freiberg and Meister Eckhart

Of all those following in the tradition of Albert the Great who developed theories of the intellect in the 13th and 14th centuries, Dietrich of Freiberg went the furthest. In treating of the active intellect (intellectus agens), Dietrich identified a three-fold object, which, however, the intellect knows in a single intuition (uno intuitu): its principle (deus), its essence (essentia) and the totality of beings (universitas entium). According to Dietrich, the intellect knows its essence and all beings not only according to its essence, but also “in its principle, according to the mode of this very principle” (in suo principio secundum modum ipsius principii; cf. Dietrich of Freiberg, De intellectu et intelligibili II 37–40, ed. Mojsisch, 1977, pp. 175–77). This mode of knowing is the highest that we can identify. Before Dietrich, no one had formulated this mode of knowing in such a progressive manner by making such a radical claim. Nevertheless, Dietrich did not further elaborate how to think this mode of knowing in its individual moments, that is, the way the intellect actually knows “in its principle, according to the mode of this very principle”.

Meister Eckhart begins where Dietrich of Freiberg leaves off. Nowhere in his writings does Eckhart mention Dietrich by name, although they were personally acquainted, and although Dietrich used his influence to see that Eckhart received significant posts within the Dominican Order. Yet Eckhart goes a step beyond Dietrich by expanding upon what Dietrich had given only general expression to, unfolding how the intellect actually moves in itself and therewith demonstrating what it means for the intellect to know “according to the mode of this very principle”. Briefly put, understanding how the intellect returns to its principle, where it might know “according to the mode of its principle”, requires that we first identify the way in which this principle itself knows, so that we might then grasp how the intellect comes to know there.

  1. The Absolute Principle as Intellect without Being

In the initial stage of his career, Meister Eckhart composed some not very exciting table-talks for his confratres and, in his lost Commentary on the Sentences (Goris/Pikavé, 2001), most likely advocated doctrines based on the theology of Thomas Aquinas. Once back in Paris, however, Eckhart inaugurated his teaching with a bombshell. With a new thesis directed against Thomas Aquinas, as well as against his own Thomistic thinking prior to 1302, Eckhart contends that the absolute principle (or the absolute cause: God) is pure intellect and not being. According to this view, being (esse) is always caused and thus presupposes intellect, itself without being, as the cause of being. In line with Neoplatonic modes of thinking (cf. Liber de causis, cap. XI; Fidora/Niederberger, 2001, 76: “Causatum ergo in causa est per modum causae …”: “What is caused is in the cause in the mode of the cause …”), Eckhart holds that being is, in intellect, nothing other than intellect and, therefore, not simply being, but instead being that has been elevated to intellect. If someone should nonetheless object that in God knowing or anything else might be described as ‘being’, the proper response for Eckhart is that this ‘being’ still presupposes the knowing of intellect (“Et si tu intelligere velis vocare esse, placet mihi. Dico nihilominus, quod, si in deo est aliquid, quod velis vocare esse, sibi competit per intelligere”: “And if you wish to call intelligizing being, that is all right with me. Nonetheless, I say that if there is something in God that you wish to call being, it suits him through intelligizing”; cf. Echardus de Hochheim,Utrum in deo sit idem esse et intelligere n. 24, ed. Mojsisch, 1999, 192, 103–105). As the absolute cause, intellect is thought of as absolutely unlimited only if it is thought of as wholly without being. As such, intellect becomes the principle for absolute as well as contingent being. The alternative view—that knowing is simply identical with being (a position advanced by Sturlese, 1993a and von Perger, 1997 and again, with new argumentation, by Grotz, 2002)—disregards the more sweeping contention in Eckhart’s thesis that knowing ispresupposed in every case of being. (Later, Nicholas of Cusa maintains accordingly that the maximum is without being, yet can be contracted to being; cf. Nicholas of Cusa, De docta ignorantia I, 6, ed. Hoffmann/Klibansky, 1932a, p. 14, 1: “Praeterea, contrahamus maximum ad esse et dicamus …”: “Besides, we might contract the maximum to being and say …”) Scholars such as Klibansky, however, as well as Imbach, 1976 have drawn attention to parallel passages in the German sermons that make it clear that for Eckhart absolute knowing is without being, indeed, that intellection is prior to being.

  1. Univocal Causality

Between the uncreated and the created the predominant relationship is one of analogy, a relationship involving as well the disjunction of the two terms. Insofar as Eckhart in 1305 again takes up the theme of absolute being in its identity with God (esse est deus), he likewise gives expression to relationships of analogical causality, teaching that being as such, or absolute being (esse absolute), is what becomes restricted to determinate being (esse hoc et hoc), while determinate being is what brings it about that a this or a that (hoc et hoc) actually exists. Eckhart says ever again that the created is of itself pure nothing, indeed, even nothingness or nullity (nihileitas, nulleitas). The created is only because absolute being communicates itself to it—through determinate being—whereby determinate being, of course, is not in any position to communicate being as such, but only determinacy.That all of this is so, of course, is something that can be easily stated. Indeed, the metaphysics of being has always thrived on describing such structures, whether this being be absolute or determinate in nature.

Eckhart, however, breaks through that metaphysics of being with its analogical base by thinking through the relation of causality informing absolute being. We can assume at least hypothetically that a cause causes not only something dependent on it, but also something equal to it, namely that the cause causes in such a manner that it causes itself. But if it causes itself, it causes something which is itself also cause and at the same time cause of its cause. Such a mode of causality is called ‘univocal causality’. Our hypothesis of what could be thought in these terms turns into a certainty when we explore the structures of intellectual causality, for example, the relation between the act of thinking and what is thought, or between an ethical principle and an ethical principiate. Their relation is precisely what Eckhart takes advantage of in developing his theory of univocal causality. In these cases, it holds that the principle causes its principiate, and the principiate causes its principle. Even more: The principiate is in its principle nothing other than its principle. This means that the active (principle) is at the same time active and passive, being affected in the course of its activity (as principle). In turn, the passive (principiate) is at the same time passive  and active, being active in the course of its passivity (as principiate). Accordingly, a central proposition of Eckhart reads as follows: “[Principium et principiatum] … opponuntur relative: in quantum opponuntur, distinguuntur, sed in quantum relative, mutuo se ponunt …” (Echardus, In Ioh. n. 197; LW III, 166, 10–12: “[The principle and the principiate] … are opposed to one another relatively: Insofar as they are opposed, they are distinguished, but insofar as they are relative, they reciprocally posit themselves …”).

The breakthrough that Eckhart attains through his theory of univocal causality is exemplified by the relation between thinking and thought. For Eckhart, thinking presupposes no origin because a presupposed origin could only be thought by thinking and hence would be a thought of thinking, that is, itself thinking. Thinking is, then, for itself a presuppositionless origin, that is, it is its own principle: principium (Echardus, In Ioh. n. 38; LW III, 32, 11: “…ipsum principium semper est intellectus purus …”: “The principle itself is always pure intellect …”). Any thinking without act, however, is no thinking at all. Consequently, its own originative activity accrues to thinking, that is, insofar as it is a principle, the dynamics of its principiating: principiare. In this activity, however, thinking directs itself towards a thought that it has originated, that is, towards the product that is its principiate: principiatum. But since this thought is a thought of thinking, it is itself nothing other than thinking. The act of this thinking that has been thought is, then, retrograde. This thought, as thinking, is in turn principle, principiating and principiate, whereby this last is the original thinking. In this way, thinking thinks itself as thought and is therewith active thinking, while thought, insofar as it thinks its thinking, is itself thinking, and its thinking now thought. Consequently, both thinking and thought are at the same time active and passive.

Another example of univocal causality as conceived by Eckhart is found in the relation between justice and the just man. In the same vein as that sketched out with regard to the dynamics of thinking, justice is in the just man, and the just man is in justice. The just man is his just action, and this just action is likewise justice. Between the just man and justice, there is difference on account of the opposition between them, but because of their relationality they reciprocally include each other. Just as thought is the thought of thinking and therewith itself thinking, so, too, is what is just for Eckhart what is just of justice and therewith justice itself. From this we can draw, following Eckhart, a number of important conclusions.

  1. For the just man, there is no whyto his just action, no purpose or goal of this action. For the action of the just man has justice as its goal, and this goal is identical with the just man. Therefore, the just man has no goal external to himself. Instead, as justice, he is his own goal.
  2. With the just man and with justice, there is no multiplicity. Justice is one, and the just man is one; thus, justice and the just man are one. Even if there are many just men: Asjustmen, the many just men are one (Echardus, In Sap. n. 44; LW II, 366, 6–7: “… omnes iusti, in quantum iusti, unum sunt …”), indeed, they are even justice itself.
  1. Justice, which is the just man, knows neither wherenor when, that is, it knows neither space nor time, neither size nor quality, neither inside nor outside, neither over nor under, neither this side nor that side, neither above nor below, neither the activity of effecting nor the passivity of being effected. Hence, justice is indeterminate and does not accrue to anything else as an accident. Justice is something whose purpose lies in itself.
  1. Consequently, the just man is in justice, which means: The just man isjustice. This implies a reversal of the usual way of looking at things. Normally, a quality (qualitas) is what is found in an underlying subject (subiectum). With the spiritual perfections (perfectiones spirituales), however, the situation is different: The subjects are in the perfections, the just man is in justice. But in the realm of the spirit, being-in is nothing other than being-one. Hence, the just man, who is in justice, is justice itself. The just man does not possessjustice, but rather is justice. Similarly, he who is free is freedom itself (Echardus, Predigt 28; DW II, 62, 3–5; cf. Predigt 10; DW I, 165, 2: “… und ich diu wîsheit selber bin, sô bin ich ein wîser mensche”; what applies in the cases of freedom and justice also applies in the case of wisdom). If he who is free merely possessed freedom, then this freedom would be something external to him, and he would never be freedom itself.

What is key is that by freedom Eckhart understands nothing other than self-consciousnessor the I. It is never the case that the I wants something other, rather it wants only itself; the I never knows something other, rather it knows only itself; the I is never open for anything other, rather it is open for itself alone. Thus, the I is both cause of itself and conceives itself alone in itself. The itself known and wanted by the I, as well as defining its fundamental openness, is the other I—that is, the moment of self-relationality constitutive for the realm of the spirit.

  1. In summary, Eckhart can say: “… in spiritualibus conceptio est ipsa parturitio sive partus” (Echardus, In Exod. n. 207; LW II, 174, 3–4): In the realm of the spirit, conceiving is bearing or giving birth—and therefore (passive) suffering is (active) production. It should be noted that the motif of birth is one of Eckhart’s favorites, for example, when he holds that the divine Father bears his Son in the soul, more precisely: in the ground of the soul, and in this way he bears me as himself and himself as me. This motif, however, is not limited to theological contexts. It also finds application as a philosophical motif. Here, again, it is necessary to become accustomed to Eckhart’s usage. Where others speak of “causing” or “principiating”, Eckhart speaks of “bearing”. This kind of language must be approached carefully, however, and demands close scrutiny now more than ever. Such a hermeneutical approach is currently favored especially by Largier, Hasebrink and Köbele.
  1. “Swer underscheit verstât von gerehticheit und von gerehtem, der verstât allez, daz ich sage” (Echardus, Predigt 6; DW I, 105, 2–3): “Whoever understands the theory of justice and the just man understands everything that I am saying.” With this statement, Eckhart commends to our attention the paradigm of univocal co-relationality in the just man and justice. On one hand, this paradigm composes the precondition for that analogical thinking that informs, among other things, the relation of the uncreated and the created. While Wilde, 2000 asserts, then, that univocal causality is subsumed in analogical causality, Eckhart’s theory is exactly the opposite. On the other hand, however, the paradigm of univocal causality refers to what, in line with Eckhart, must still be made thematic because, as what is first, it cannot be put into question: the one as unity.
  1. One as Unity

The goal of the rational form of life—of living in and with the spiritual perfections at the level of that transcendental being or being (esse, ens) convertible with the termini transcendentes (the one, the true, and the good)—is living in and from the absolute one (in and from the divine nature as presuppositionless unity). If the ground of the soul, as something uncreated and uncreatable—attributes which Meister Eckhart’s contemporary Eckhart von Gründig explicitly ascribes to the ground or ‘little spark’ of the soul that Meister Eckhart often invokes (cf. Winkler, 1999), thus indicating that he in fact employed these attributes—if human reason—not as human, but as reason—is one with the divine nature or ground (Echardus, Predigt 5b; DW I, 90, 8: “Hie ist gotes grunt mîn grunt und mîn grunt gotes grunt”: “Here, God’s ground is my ground and my ground God’s ground”), then man is no longer simply on the way towards unity (unio). Instead, unity is something that has always already been achieved. This being-unified is alone what matters (Echardus, Predigt 12; DW I, 197, 8–9; Predigt 39; DW II, 265, 6–266, 2), because man as reason has left behind everything that stands in the way of his living in and from unity, and because the ground of the soul is more interior in this unity than it is in itself (Mojsisch 1983a, 140–141; 2001, 163–165). This is true equanimity—letting-go (Gelâzenheit)—as the goal of human life.

Living in and from unity in the manner envisioned by Eckhart as the end of self-discovery becomes possible through a change (metabole) in intellectual disposition. The possible intellect—which, as defined by Aristotle, can become all things (cf. De anima III 5, 430a14–15)—is able to know either as ordinary consciousness (in images, species of things) or as self-consciousness through self-knowledge (without images, free from images). The conversion in disposition—Plato speaks of a peristrophe of the soul (cf. Res publica VII, 521c5)—leads the possible intellect to the uncreated and uncreatable ground of the soul, whose movement, as a process of reason, reaches its goal in the absolute one (unialiter unum, a combination suggested by Proclus; Eckhart speaks of the luter pur clar Ein orindistinctum, the undifferentiated). This goal, however, is itself nothing other than the ground of the soul. The ground of the soul in the absolute one is its own goal because self-consciousness is nothing other than one and the one, because freedom is nothing other than one and the one, because moral responsibility for oneself and others—Eckhart speaks of justice—is nothing other than one and the one. Self-consciousness, freedom and justice are always and everywhere only themselves, having nothing ‘outside’ of, additional or foreign to them.

For Eckhart, this means that whoever is justice is always justice, because the I that would stand out from justice would no longer be an I. The I always already knows that it is justice, however, because in knowing itself as just, it knows itself as justice; for the just man isjustice. The I knows that it is just, however, because otherwise it does not know at all and is not even an I at all. The I is what it is only as rationality, as a knowing which knows that it is and knows what it is. This I is not only cause of itself (causa sui; Eckhart, deepening the tradition of this concept, says sache mîn selbes: “cause of myself”; cf. Summerell, 2002). It is moreover the cause for God, insofar as God stands in relation to his creatures. For only the uncreated and uncreateable ground of the soul stands not in relation to creatures, but instead only in relation to itself (cf. Echardus, Predigt 52). The I that knows itself, wills itself, and is its own abode, and therewith the I that is, in univocal causality, cause of itself and yet, in this unity, the one rationality, is, according to Eckhart, what man ought to become and what man can become in taking on the true poverty of spirit. This is so since man has always been this I, is now this I, and always will be this I, even if he knows nothing of himself as this I.

Consequently, the movement of reason, as Eckhart presents it, takes its point of departure from absolute unity and, as a principle, takes on being. This principle knows itself and wills itself, thinking thought in this way as its principiate, the ground of the soul in its uncreatedness and uncreatability. Since this thought is a thought of thinking, however, and thus itself thinking, this thinking that has been thought principiates its own principle in retrograde fashion. (As Eckhart puts it, the Son is reborn in the Father.) This movement of reason, as one of self-discovery and self-cultivation, ends there, where it began, in presuppositionless unity, where it might begin anew. This is the fundamental process—taking place in and from unity—inherent to the self-knowing and self-willing I. Insofar as it knows itself and wills itself, this I is nothing other than what man is when he has transcended himself as a creature fraught with nothingness and entrusted himself to the movement of the ground of the soul, acknowledging this movement as the sole form of life: that of self-consciousness, freedom, and moral responsibility.

  1. Conclusion

Nicholas of Cusa, when asked what he had to say about Eckhart, remarked that he had never read in Eckhart that the creature was identical with the creator. At the same time, he praised Eckhart’s talent (ingenium) as well as his ardor (studium). Yet Nicholas also suggested that Eckhart’s books should be removed from the public sphere, since they contained much that was astute and useful (subtilita et utilia) for those who understood them, but the people were not ready for what, in Eckhart, contradicted the traditional doctrines of the learned world.

Aiebat tamen praeceptor se numquam legisse ipsum sensisse creaturam esse creatorem, laudans ingenium et studium ipsius; sed optavit, quod libri sui amoverentur de locis publicis, quia vulgus non est aptus ad ea, quae praeter consuetudinem aliorum doctorum ipse saepe intermiscet, licet per intelligentes multa subtilia et utilia in ipsis reperiantur. (Nicholas of Cusa, Apologia doctae ignorantiae, ed. Klibansky, 1932b, p. 25, 7–12)

Still, the teacher said that he had never read that he [Eckhart] thought that the creature was the creator, and praised his [Eckhart’s] talent and ardor. Yet he wished that his [Eckhart’s] books would be removed from public places; for the people are not ready for what he [Eckhart] often intersperses, contrary to the custom of other learned men, even though the intelligent find in them many astute and useful things.

What Nicholas gave voice to is not simply the divide between medieval and modern thought, as well as that between orthodoxy and unconventionality, that he himself most remarkably straddled. In fact, it remains a challenge even today to properly understand the Eckhartian thought that man is free only if he (not merely possesses but instead) is freedom. This is so, in part, because even scholarly language runs up against its limits in Eckhart. For we still cannot give adequate expression to the real meaning of the statement: “The free man is, if he is really free, freedom itself, yet only insofar as he is free.” For this very reason, however, it is all the more necessary to engage ourselves in Eckhart’s thinking instead of banning his writings from the public sphere. For if our thought counsels it, our language must change, indeed, not only the language of scholars, but that of the people as well.

Source: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/meister-eckhart/

Maybe Logic

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Maybe Logic: The Lives & Ideas of Robert Anton Wilson

Everybody abstracts a different reality. When you come through a room, you abstract the reality you’re prepared to abstract. You pick up the signals that interest you. Your brain records them and organizes them.

We all have our own reality tunnel, and in our reality tunnel we pick out some things and ignore other things. And we got 10 billion cells in our brain receiving hundreds and hundreds of millions of signals all the time.  We just pick out the ones that fit into the established grooves in our brain, the reality tunnel that’s been laid down by past experience. We all have our own belief system, and the signals that fit our belief system get in. The signals that don’t fit our belief system get ignored, or if they keep coming back we go to a psychiatrist to get cured and make them go away.

Once you get used to thinking in terms of whether we’re tuned in or not tuned in, then all of the problems in philosophy about being and non-being and so on, seem absolutely nonsensical. We don’t know what is or what isn’t, all we know is what we tuned in or what we didn’t tune in. If you keep track of what you tuned in, that’s what you can talk about meaningfully; what you didn’t tune in, you can only make guesses about, or noises or garbles, or frantic hand gestures, but you can’t really know anything about them, you only know what you’ve tuned in.

What you haven’t tuned in isn’t necessarily nonexistent, it’s just not tuned in. That takes care of the whole problem of being and non-being, which philosophers have been debating for the last 2,500 years. We don’t know anything about being or non-being, all you know is what you’ve tuned in.

Well, to quote Bucky Fuller, I seem to be a verb… I can’t seem to find any constant Robert Anton Wilson.  It seems to be a process of change all the time. I’m certainly not the guy I was at 40, and I certainly am not the kid I was in Catholic School at 7 or 8.

I started out in a little tiny Irish Catholic ghetto in Brooklyn or Long Island, I’m not sure which, and somehow I have traveled from Maui in the East to Berlin in the West, which is half of the time zones on the planet.  And I feel like as I’ve expanded my travel in space, I’ve expanded my travel through the world of ideas also. And I can’t believe I started out a good Catholic school boy.

There must have been some good times, but when I think of my childhood, I just remember how frightened I was of the nuns in the school I went to, how sadistic they were.

There is so much mystery and ambiguity about everything, maybe that’s why there’s so much in my novels.  But why else does no one give a straight answer to a child about anything? Everything was lies, hypocrisy, evasion.  I knew there was something going on they were hiding from me, and it used to scare me.  I wasn’t quite sure what it was. It might have something to do with the wolf man, or Frankenstein monster — I didn’t know what the hell it was. And I didn’t trust them at all. At one point, somewhere around 7 or 8, they admitted there was no Santa Claus, and as soon as I recovered from the shock my next thought was, “When are they going to admit there’s no God?” They never did. And I went back to believing in God under the hammering and pounding of the nuns, up until I was about 13, I guess.

I was a very obedient child.  Everybody agrees to that.  Everybody I can remember from my childhood.  I started rebelling in my teens, and I’m rebelling more every year. I remember, I don’t know how old I was, 14, 15, another unbeliever and myself at Brooklyn Tech got into an argument with a student who was still a Catholic, and he said, “If you really believe what you say, you would have the courage to ask God to strike you dead right now to prove that you believe he doesn’t exist.” And I got scared for a minute, but then I went ahead and did it and nothing happened.  And I felt totally liberated. “Fuck you, you’re not there after all!” That was a great moment of liberation which I hardly ever recalled until tonight. My God, a very important turning point in my life. Here’s to the good nuns for telling me what books not to read.

Interacting, processing. Interacting, processing. Interacting, processing!

Spectacles, testicles, brandy, cigars — you’re all popes! You’re all absolutely infallible. I have the authority to appoint anyone a Discordian Pope, because I’m a Discordian Pope. The first rule after you become a Discordian Pope is to excommunicate every Discordian Pope you meet. This is based on the basic Discordian principle that we Discordians must stick apart.

Discordians don’t have dogmas, which are absolute beliefs; we have catmas which are relative meta-beliefs. And the central discordian catma is, as I said before, any affirmation is true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. And if you repeat this 666 times, you will achieve supreme enlightenment — IN SOME SENSE!

There are approximately 12 million discordian popes now. Originally, Malaclypse the Younger, founder of Discordianism, had cards printed and he’d just hand them out to everybody he met making them popes. And then I printed the Pope Card in the Illuminatus! Trilogy, but then I was living in Ireland and the Pope came to the Phoenix Bar, and announced — the guy who thinks he’s the only pope — he announced that bishops could give indulgences over television, which was a new thing in Catholic doctrine, and I got the idea, “Well, if they can do indulgences on television, I can do pontifications.” And so, instead of giving out cards, every time I got on radio or television, then I made the whole audience popes. Eventually, we’ll make every man, woman and child on this planet a pope.

Most religious people take themselves too damn seriously, which is why they act like such damn fools. I’m using the word damn for the paradoxical effect.

REMEMBER: KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS.

I’m also a Buddhist, a Taoist, and a Confucian as well as a Discordian, a Subgenius, and a Witch.

I will officially announce that everyone in this room is now a Discordian Pope, just like me.

Spectacles, testicles, brandy, cigars. You are all absolutely infallible.  And don’t take crap from anybody. Okay.

Well, I’m an ordained pope in the Church of the Subgenius, which means I’m absolutely infallible.  So don’t dare contradict anything I say. As for my relationship with Einstein, I deny all the rumors.

You’re only infallible about your own nervous system. You know what’s going on in your own nervous system.  Whatever realities you’re creating out of the infinite flux of being, you don’t know anything about anybody else’s reality unless they tell you about it. You gotta listen very sympathetically in order to understand them. So it’s a limited infallibility.

  1. She wants to know what quantum physics is? Quantum physics. Explain it simply.
  1. Explain quantum physics simply? When I moved from Los Angeles, I moved into what I thought was Santa Cruz. Then we had something stolen from our car, and we called the police, and I found out we didn’t live in Santa Cruz, we lived in a town called Capitola. The Post Office thought we lived in Santa Cruz, but the police thought we lived in Capitola. I started investigating this, and a reporter on the local newspaper told me we lived in neither Santa Cruz or Capitola, we lived in an unincorporated area called Live Oak.

Now, quantum mechanics is just like that, except that in the case of Santa Cruz, Capitola, and Live Oak, we don’t get too confused, because, remember, we invented the lines on the map. Quantum physics seems confusing because a lot of people believe we didn’t invent the lines, so it seems hard to understand how a particle can be in three places at the same time without being anywhere at all. But when you remember that we invented all of the boundaries, borders and lines, just like the Berlin Wall, then quantum mechanics is no more mysterious than the fact that I live in three places at the same time.

No Chinese raised on I Ching has ever found quantum mechanics puzzling. It’s only puzzling to people raised on Aristotelian logic where things are either A or not A. In the I Ching, things are A and not A at the same time.

With quantum mechanics, you can prove that light is made out of particles experimentally. You can build up a whole mathematical theory of light traveling in little particles called photons, and you can do experiments, and the experiments will give you a pattern showing that light is traveling like particles. We’ve also got a whole mathematical theory built up showing that light travels as waves, and we’ve got experiments that will show you that light travels as waves. As one physicist in the 1920s said, “It looks as if the damn light is waiting to see how we’re going to do the experiment and then deciding which way it’s going to travel. Schroedinger said, “I wish I never got mixed up with this radomptoquantumschringereit. This goddamned quantum jumping.” The modified Copenhagen view is light is neither waves nor particles until we look, and then it adjusts itself depending on what we’re looking at it with. An electron is not anywhere until we look, and when we look, the electron decides to be somewhere as long as we’re looking. As soon as we stop looking, the electron is everywhere again.

Every model we make tells us how our mind works as much as it tells about the universe. These are just human symbolic games. The universe itself is bigger than any of our models.

According to Zen Buddhism, and most forms of Buddhism, and quantum mechanics, any description of the universe which leaves you out is inaccurate, because any description of the universe, and the description of the instrument that you use to take your reading of the universe — if the only instrument you use is your own nervous system, you gotta include your own nervous system in your description of the universe.

So, ergo, any model we make does not describe the universe, it describes what our brains are capable of seeing at this time.

Long before quantum mechanics, the German philosopher Husserl said that all perception is gamble. Every type of bigotry, every type of racism, sexism, prejudice, every dogmatic ideology that allows people to kill other people with a clear conscience, every stupid cult, every superstition-ridden religion, every kind of ignorance in the world, are all results from not realizing that our perceptions are gambles. We believe what we see, and then we believe our interpretation of it, but we don’t even know we’re making an interpretation most of the time.

We think this is reality. But in philosophy, that’s called naive realism:  “What I perceive is reality.” And philosophers have refuted naive realism every century for the last 2,500 years, starting with Buddha and Plato, and yet most people still act on the basis of naive realism.

Now the argument is, “Well, maybe my perceptions are inaccurate, but somewhere there is accuracy, scientists have it with their instruments. That’s how we can find out what’s really real.” But relativity, quantum mechanics, have demonstrated clearly that what you find out with instruments is true relative only to the instrument you’re using, and where that instrument is located in space-time. So there is no vantage point from which real reality can be seen.

We’re all looking from the point of view of our own reality tunnels. And when we begin to realize that we’re all looking from the point of view of our own reality tunnels, we find that it is much easier to understand where other people are coming from.

All the ones who don’t have the same reality tunnel as us do not seem ignorant, or deliberately perverse, or lying, or hypnotized by some mad ideology, they just have a different reality tunnel.  And every reality tunnel might tell us something interesting about our world if we’re willing to listen.

The idea every perception is a gamble, seems to me so obviously true that I continually am astonished that I could forget it so many times during the course of 24 hours. But to the extent that I remember it, I just can’t stay angry at anybody, so it’s a thing worth keeping in mind.

My last birthday seems like a dinosaur. I seem more like a dinosaur myself.

Sometimes I feel as old as the Mojave desert. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think I look like a dead mule. That’s only when I first get up in the morning.

My leg hurt this morning for about an hour after I got up, that’s about all. As you may have guessed, I have post-polio sequelae which is symptoms of polio sometimes 20 years later, sometimes 40 years later. In my case, it took 60 years before they caught up with me. One of them is a lot of leg problems, which is why I’m in a wheelchair.  Another one is that I feel 20 degrees colder than the average person whatever the temperature is.

I had polio at the age of four.  I was cured by the Sister Kennedy method at a time when the American Medical Association was announcing her as a quack and a charlatan and a witchdoctor.

It was about 6 years after I was cured by the Sister Kennedy method, that the AMA finally admitted that the method worked. Now nobody needs it anymore because nobody gets polio anymore. They got the vaccine for it. But I knew all my life that I had post-polio syndrome, but it was always mild. I had what they call myoclonism which is spasms in the feet, which can be a damn nuisance when you’re trying to sleep at night — the feet start jerking and waking you up.

And then I had pains in the legs when I had to stand in long lines.  I got to hate airports.

I can walk; I can take steps.  As a matter of fact, I can walk more than a few steps.  But I’m not going to try it because if I fall down, everybody will be embarrassed and feel sorry for me. So you can see I can walk a few steps, which I couldn’t do two years ago when the thing was at its worst.

Post-polio syndrome really flared up, it will be two years ago next month. And boy, there was a week there where I could hardly move.  Everything hurt. Going to the bathroom was like going to the South Pole. Oh, God, I couldn’t move anything without terrible pain.

Maybe some of the dead muscles are coming back to life. The cell bodies are putting forth axons and dendrites.  That’s what’s supposed to be happening, anyway.

Somehow, dealing with the post-polio has given me self-esteem, as they say nowadays. Hell, I’m dealing with it very well.  I feel pretty good about myself. And I still have time to think about other people, which is very important. The worst thing about illness is that it makes you self-centered. I don’t think that’s happened, really.

I think you can get a lot out of an illness.

Processing, interactions. Tuning interactive processes. Processing interacting is all I ever tune in. I cannot tune in anything but interactive processing.

I agree with Buddha:  there is no meaning in life. Meaning is in sentences.

Meaning is in symbols that symbolize life. Life itself does not have a meaning, because that’s what meaning refers to. Meaning refers to life. To look for meaning in life is like looking for trees on a map. You can find squiggles that represent trees, but you won’t find the trees there, the squiggles only represent the trees. Or the rivers. You can’t wash in a river on a map, you gotta find a real river not in Map World. Is that clear? I’m trying to make a difference between the words and metaphors and the existential experiences.

The greatest relief I get from pain is marijuana brownies made by a wo/men’s collective of people with muscular dystrophy, post-polio syndrome, AIDS, cancer, and a few other problems which are very clearly and obviously helped by marijuana brownies. And when the federal government announces that they’ve canceled the 10th amendment, and the states have no right to legalize anything the federal government is against, I am naturally furious. They are threatening me with a life of steady pain until I die. That’s what they’re threatening me with. Of course I’m pissed off at them. And it’s not only for my own sake, it’s for the sake of all the AIDS patients, all the cancer patients, all the other people for whom life is bearable because they can get some marijuana in one form or another. It is one of the best pain killers known, and it’s not addictive, and it has an extra added benefit, the high, which is what T.S.O.G. (tsarist occupational government) is afraid of. They don’t want anybody to get high because people who are high get happym and people who get happy get ambitious and uppity and rambunctious. They want everybody to be depressed. But the high is part of the cure. I think every goddamned disease in the world is improved by feeling happy and good, and any compound that not only relieves pain but makes you feel happy and cheerful and think of funny things is helping your cure.

And the remnants of the cannabis muffin that I had around 6:00, God’s own medicine, nothing is bothering me. Around 6:00 the light was starting to bother me again, now nothing is bothering me.

Most of today I spent on the couch, listening to the atmospheres channel.  That’s New Age music. I don’t know why, sometimes I look for some Classical, but today I was in the mood for atmospheres. I was doing visualizations. Yeah, I was following the rhythm of the music.  I had lights flowing up through my body trying to cure the pain in the legs. Between that and the muffins, I finally got rid of the pain.  But it took a long time. Sometimes it’s quicker than others.

I think pain is a mistake. If I’d been around at the Creation, I would have had a lot of helpful suggestions, as Mencken said.  And I would have said, “We don’t need pain. Just put a little neon light on the forehead that lights up and says ‘See a doctor.’ ‘Hey, your sign is on, go see a doctor.’ You don’t need pain to tell you. You know, seriously, what I’m getting at is I think pain can be abolished. I don’t see any reason why all forms of pain can’t be abolished with the proper drugs. And I think the Government’s attempt to control drug research out of fear that people may feel too good is the last dying gasp of the dinosaur age. I think we are governed by Tyranosaurus Rex and Raptors and types like that. I really think the abolition of pain is the noblest goal we can aim for. Also, clean water for everybody. And enough food. I think these are quite attainable goals, if society would say these would be our goals. Spread clean water, adequate food and the absence of pain all over the planet, and who would want to become a terrorist?  What would they be angry about?  What would they be mad about to start throwing bombs at somebody else?

  1. What about the eye in the triangle?
  1. It’s rather inconspicuous. I just want to point out how often the eye in the triangle is there. It pops up frequently.  And this, of course, is the symbol of the Illuminati, the alleged secret society, that controls the whole world according to a lot of occult theories, and you’ll find it on the back of your dollar bill.

It’s great to see all of your faces out there, ladies, gentlemen, and narcs.  Everybody look around and see if you can spot the narcs. They are the ones who look like hippies.

  1. For an expert in conspiracy, you’re probably the least paranoid person I’ve ever met. You have all of the data, but none of the fear that most everybody else who is involved in conspiracy theories …
  1. Well, my belief is I don’t believe in one big conspiracy that runs everything. I prefer to think that there’s at minimum, at any given time, there’s about 24 conspiracies afoot. And as far as I’ve been able to discover in all my years of being involved, more or less unwillingly, in this field, I cannot find any proof of any conspiracy that really existed, was really brought into court and convicted, that lasted more than ten years before everybody double-crossed everybody else and the conspiracy fell apart.

To redefine the power elite as somebody else, I regard that as a loser script. I define the power elite as myself and my friends. And that’s a winner script. And the way to accomplish things is with a winner script. I define myself as a winner.  I define my program as winnable.  And I count down the stupidity of whoever seems to be in power to undo them eventually because as I said, every conspiracy has a natural life span, every conspiracy collapses through double-crosses from within or by superior cleverness by rival conspiracies. And stupidity has a definite evolutionary function. I am all for abolishing stupidity, but before it goes, while there’s still a lot of it around, we should pay tribute to it.

The strongest conspiracy on the planet is the conspiracy of the stupid to prevent schools from educating their children, because they want their children to be as dumb as they are, to prevent television from putting anything intelligent on, as much as possible.

  1. What is it about the human psyche that seems to be drawn towards these conspiracy theories? Is it some love of the unknown, or some idea that there may be forces out there that are controlling our destiny?
  1. Well, I think there are three factors. A, nobody likes to take the blame for their own problems, so they look for somebody else to blame.  And if you can find a big enough group, you’ve explained everything in your life that doesn’t work.
  1. Like parental conspiracy theories.
  1. Yeah, it’s not your fault, or your parents, it’s the Jesuits, the Freemasons, the Jews, the Bilderbergers, the Council on Foreign Relations.  And you have a wide choice to pick who to blame.
  1. Rich white men …
  1. Yeah, as long as you don’t have to blame yourself. That’s one motive. And another motive is that we are living in very weird times.  The world is changing faster and faster, which I think is due to the acceleration of information flow.

Information is increasing, and the transmission of information is going faster and faster, due to Internet and the whole computer revolution, which means that most people are living in a world they can’t understand.  And when people can’t understand something, they tend to go for sinister explanations of it:  somebody is manipulating things in a way that I don’t like. That’s the way people feel when things change too fast and they can’t understand it. And the third reason, of course, is that there are lots of conspiracies around.

Nonsimultaneously apprehended; apprehended nonsimultaneously interacting processes. Interacting processes apprehended nonsimultaneously.

  1. Let me switch gears with you a little bit. I’d like to talk about your interest in occultism. You’ve been a student, quite a student I think, of writings and teachings of Aleister Crowley who was a writer about occult magical rituals.  And I believe you participated in a variety of magical rituals. What’s that about?
  1. Well, the background is I believe that what we perceive is based on the culture of our parents, and our teachers, and the people around us, and the language we speak.  And I’m interested in ways of changing perception. And I have a lot of exercises I’ve tried for changing my ways for perceiving the world and myself. Crowley’s system of magic, his system of fucking with your brain until the impossible becomes possible, and you get out of your imprinted reality tunnel into an infinity of mirrors where anything is possible, I think the major thing you can learn from Crowley is how to change your focus, and how to look through different grids, different reality tunnels as Leary would say.

Bruno represents the point in our culture where science and mysticism were allied. They were both attempts to find out what the hell was going on in this universe.  And by experimental method and by trust in the ability of the individual to figure out what the hell is going on just through the method of experiment.

And anyway, the background is experiments on altering consciousness and perceived reality tunnels.

In Bruno’s day, the three terms were divided up differently.  You had science and mysticism on one side, and religion on the other side. Science and mysticism were allied in their struggle against religion. Science and mysticism were both based on experience, and they were both based on respect for the individual. The idea of science and mysticism was to go out and discover for yourself, find out what works, find out how the universe is actually structured, and how you relate to the structure of the universe. And so there were basically two areas of scientific exploration:  the external and the internal. But they both pursued the same method, the experimental method.

Originally I was just trying to find out what the hell is a mystical experience. But then I very soon got the idea of re-imprinting, and then I got the idea of using Crowley’s magic along with the re-imprinting.

A ritual is to the internal science what an experiment is to the external science.

Mysticism understood in that way is basically a branch of science, a branch of neuro-science, what Timothy Leary calls “neurologic” as distinguished from orthodox neurology which involves dissecting animals, or dissecting corpses or something. Neurologic is studying the nervous system directly by varying the parameters on which your nervous system functions.

There are different levels of reality, obviously, and the psychedelic level is one of the most fascinating ones, one of the most erotic, and above all one of the funniest. I recommend it highly to everybody over 40. I’m not going to repeat Leary’s mistake. I don’t recommend it to anybody under 40. Over 40 you’re on your own, you’re responsible for yourself. Don’t blame me for what happens.

Those of you who have read my book Cosmic Trigger note — oh, a lot of you! — oh, that’s nice — hey, that’s very flattering!  You all know what happened on July 23, 1973.  That was the day I achieved contact with an extraterrestrial from Sirius and started hallucinating like mad, depending on which way you want to look at it. I’ve varied between both theories over the years. But I just found out recently, since I’m still into synchronicity — this one really struck me — July 23, 1973 was also the birthday of Monica Lewinsky.

Around 1973, I became convinced for a while that I was receiving messages from outer space. But then a psychic reader told me I was actually channeling an ancient Chinese philosopher, and another psychic reader told me I was channeling a Medieval Irish bard.  And at that time, I started reading neurology, and I decided it was just my right brain talking to my left brain.  And then I went to Ireland, and I found out it was actually a six foot tall white rabbit.  They call it the Pookah, and the Irish know all about it. So it depends on who I’m talking to which views to explain where these weird patterns come from, that jump out of the books and take hold of the readers and change their lives. It’s not me, it’s a six foot tall white rabbit from County Kerry.

While looking back, I accept that metaphor as pretty accurate. All writers are channelers in some sense. Faulkner talked about the demon that dictated his books to him. Norman Mailer talks about the navigator in the unconscious. William Blake said the prophets Ezekiel and Isaiah dictated his poetic prophetic books to him. Most artists traditionally have talked about the muse. And for people in County Kerry, it’s a six foot tall white rabbit. For me, it was an extraterrestrial from Sirius. There are different metaphors for the experience.

Philip K. Dick and I had a series of rather similar experiences. And out of his experiences he constructed Valis, which looks like a science fiction story most of the way, and then abruptly at the end, you suddenly find out maybe it’s not a science fiction story, maybe it’s an account of Philip K. Dick going crazy. Or maybe it’s an account of Philip K. Dick being contacted by extraterrestrials. In Cosmic Trigger, I had pretty much the same structures. Why would Robert Anton Wilson be contacted by extraterrestrials? No, it’s Robert Anton Wilson going crazy. No, it’s just Robert Anton Wilson experimenting with alternative realities and coming out of chapel perilous at the end without believing in any of them. But structurally, they are very similar because they are based on very similar experiences.

When I woke up after doing a ritual to the holy guardian angel, I woke up with this vivid memory of this guy with a long, white beard, long, long white beard, like Mr. Natural, an old white man looking rather like Jehovah in the illustrated Bible, writing on a blackboard things about time that I was supposed to memorize, “Sirius is very important to you.” And I went to the town library and looked up Sirius in all the astronomy books, and I found out that July 23rd is the day when Sirius seems to rise behind the sun, beginning what they call the dog days. Why did I have that dream on a day connected with Sirius? What had I invoked? It was my way of experiencing the world, and there were flashes of psychic ability which I to a degree never had before or since.

Well, I believed it passionately for a couple of months, and then I began to have doubts.  And then suddenly, I had this flash of insight about 2-1/2 years later:  “My God, this is the same sort of thing that has been called by different names in different traditions. This has been going on all over the world for centuries. And every shaman has an ally, and I was an apprentice shaman, I had to find an ally, and I found one, boy did I find one.

Chapel perilous a stage in the magical quest in which your maps turn out to be totally inadequate for the territory, and you’re completely lost.  And at that point, you get an ally who helps you find your way back to something you can understand. And then after that, for the rest of your life, you’ve got this question: “Was that ally a supernatural helper, or was it just part of my own mind trying to save me from going totally bonkers with this stuff?” And the people I know who’ve had that kind of experience, very few of them have ever come to an absolutely certain conclusion about that.

The Pookah plays the same role as the Holy Guardian Angel in cabalistic magic, or the extraterrestrial in the Whitley Strieber type of experience, or the ghosts of dead relatives speaking through seance in 19th century spiritualism, or Ramtha speaking through J. Z. Knight.  These are all different metaphors for basically the same experience.

I spent a year and a half, at least, half believing that I was in telepathic communication with a higher intelligence from the Sirius double star system, and as a matter of fact, I still believe that every Thursday for two hours. No, not really. I’m really cured on that one. I’m still an optimist, though. In the age of George Bush, that’s roughly equivalent of thinking you’re talking to intelligent dogs from Sirius.

You might say it hasn’t ended yet. I’m still trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I like the giant rabbit from County Kerry because there’s no chance anybody will take that literally. Anything else I say they might take literally.

  1. How about yourself?
  1. That’s another reason why I like the giant white rabbit from County Kerry: I’m not going to take him literally. Well, not too literally. Sorry about that, Harvey.

My cosmic schmuck principle holds that if you occasionally notice that you’ve been thinking or acting like a cosmic schmuck, you will become less of a cosmic schmuck, and the more often you notice that you’re thinking and acting like a cosmic schmuck, the less of a cosmic schmuck you become. On the other hand, if you never, never, never suspect you might be thinking or acting like a cosmic schmuck, you will remain a cosmic schmuck for the rest of your life.

E-prime is English without the use of any form of “is” or being.

We’re trapped in linguistic constructs. All that is is metaphor. I believe somebody said that before me. I’ve decided we can’t get beyond words.  What we gotta do is get more cynical about our words.

You’ll find that by dispensing with “is”, and trying to reformulate without “is”, you just naturally fall into the kind of expression which is considered acceptable in modern science.  And also, it’s the type of consciousness that Zen Buddhism tries to induce. Using E-Prime, you will understand modern science and Zen Buddhism both, a lot better than you’ve ever understood them before. Martin Gardner has written a long essay proving that to think like this will destroy your mind. I think it adds tremendously to clarity. I am removing the “is” from my writing more and more. Removing it from your speech is even harder.

Instead of thinking, “The grass is green,” think that “the grass appears green to me.” And this saved me a lot of time. By the way, I don’t get embroiled in arguments like Beethoven is better than Mozart, or rock is better than soul.  I define such things as meaningless. And so when people get into arguments like that I just say, “Well, Beethoven seems better to me than Mozart most of the time.” I don’t say, “Beethoven is better than Mozart.”

I return to E-Prime in my thinking whenever I find myself getting angry with somebody, or feeling depressed or hopeless, or having negative emotional states in general. Once you take out all of the “ises” out of all of your negative statements, you find out they are all relative to how you feel at the moment.

People, by and large, would act a hell of a lot more sanely, especially when they got rid of “is” they put “maybe” in more sentences. I think if everybody used “maybe” more often, the increase in general sanity would seem absolutely astonishing and completely flabbergast everybody. What the hell, suddenly we have a planet full of sane people? When did that start to happen? I didn’t even notice it. You just listen to the craziest people on the news and on television, or the craziest columnists in the newspaper. You notice they never say maybe, they are always quite sure. There is no “is.” They never say “seems,” they always say “is.”

I am continually astonished at all of the people in the world who think they know the answer to everything. None of them ever suspect they might be cosmic schmucks and have the wrong answer. And I find that any explanation that makes sense to me is in Korzybski’s Science and Sanity. These people don’t know how to use language properly. They are using language in an overly-dogmatic way which sets their brain in totally dogmatic modes. So they think dogmatically, they perceive dogmatically, they even smell dogmatically, they hear dogmatically. They are locked in a trap of fixed neurosemantic circuits in their brains. Whereas, knowing I’m a cosmic schmuckm, I always think of at least five alternatives.

When people start arguing about words, they are mostly arguing about whether the words that they apply to objects they have created out of the infinity of possible objects that could be put together, they’ve picked up a few of them, then they put words on them, then they quarrel about the words. And if these people get to the stage where they are willing to kill one another over the words, they should be put in a nice, quiet home in the country with kindly doctors, and beautiful nurses, and a good sedative. But generally, they end up in government and start bombing one another.  Or they lead religious crusades for the true faith and kill one another with swords or some such thing.

As Ezra Pound writes in one of the latter cantos, ‘The water-bug’s mittens show on the bright rock below him.’ DUH! Interaction. You know how the water bug’s mittens on the bright rock, without the water bug, the rock, and the sun to cast a shadow, and of course you need a planet that will produce a water bug and a rock, and you need human eyes to see it all. That’s Tao-Duh, interacting processing.

One of the introductory koans in Zen Buddhism is “Who is the great magician who makes the grass green?”

Who is the great magician who makes the grass green? Who creates every reality?

The word “yoga” means “union.” Yoga comes from the same root as the English yoke: two things hitched together. You need a human brain — dogs see grass differently — you need the human brain and the grass, hitched together to make the yoga which we call the greenness of the grass. Everybody thinks it’s very hard to be a mystic — you gotta go through a helluva lot of effort to realize your union with everything — but actually you’re experiencing your union with everything all of the time. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be experiencing anything. You make the grass green. You make your highs and you make your lows. But you don’t make it alone. You are making it out of your union with the universe. And so everything is a coincidence of contraries, a coincidence of you being there, and the universe being there.  And everything is one at the same time, because there’s no green without the grass and there’s no green without you. So the greenness is a transaction that ties you and the grass together.

There’s an infinite expanse of signals flooding into our nervous systems and being processed by our higher neural centers in the brain. We’re all organizing and orchestrating according to our own particular life history, our genetic background, our early imprints, our conditioning, our learning, or any re-imprinting techniques we may have learned since then. So we’re all living in different worlds. It’s astonishing that we can communicate at all.

You are the co-creator of the sights you see, the sounds you hear, and your general impression of the universe. Our experiences are generated out of us.  We’re not generating it out of nothing, but we are generating it. We are creating the reality tunnel we are experiencing moment to moment. So this total unity between you and the universe, whether you are aware of it or not, the universe you live in is your creation. You’re not doing it consciously.

When you have seen the one who makes the grass green, it’s like meeting your own father in a crowd — you’ll have no doubt whatsoever.

Nasruddin went galloping through Baghdad one day on his donkey.  He went up every street and into every alley and across every plaza. Every place he goes, an unending race, a hunt and search. Everybody got curious, everybody came out of their houses, and they were all yelling, “Nasruddin, Nasruddin, what are you looking for?” He said, “I lost my donkey, and I’m looking for it.”

The donkey represents what everybody is looking for, which is a mystical school.  It’s the answer to all the riddles of the universe. And you hunt for east, west, north, south, up, down, everywhere you can imagine, and all the time it’s carrying you around. It’s the human nervous system which takes out of the infinity of the universe the little reality tunnel that you consider reality, which is your creation, which you think is the whole of the universe, unless you went to a Sufi school, or studied General Semantics, or did a lot of Zen meditation, or dropped LSD once or twice. Then you realize the universe is much bigger and more complicated than any little map we can make of it. The map is not the territory. The words that describe the map are not the territory, are even further from the territory.

What I’ve been trying to do is put the donkey on your back in such a way you’ll never forget the master, the great magician who makes the grass green, the one who creates the whole universe you live in.

Interacting processing. Tao Duh! That’s all I tune in. Interacting processing. No nouns anywhere. I never met a noun yet.

I often thought of myself in terms of that old Chinese proverb, “The wise become Confucian in good times, and Buddhist in bad times, and Taoist in all days.” And I’ve always had a lot more sympathy for those three religions, in quotes, than for any of the Occidental ones, like Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, all of which seem to me fanatical, intolerant, or violence prone. The Judaeo-Christian monotheistic trip has been the worst nightmare this planet ever endured.  They just never stop killing one another. Meanwhile, the Confucians, the Taoists, the Buddhists, each in their own way have tried to create a peaceful and amicable society. And what I like in Buddhism is the basic idea of forgiveness, because nobody realizes how wonderful it is to develop some talent at actually doing it. Because, the more you forgive, the less burden you got to carry around with you. When you reach the point where you can forgive everybody, you’re almost entirely free from burdens.

What’s important to me at this point in my life? Making really sure that I have forgiven anybody who has ever hurt me or seems to be an enemy, and making sure that I have nothing but forgiveness for everything.

I think it’s a very liberating experience to realize how little you really know and how much of the time you’re just guessing. One thing that makes forgiveness easier, and believe me life without forgiveness ain’t worth living, mostly it keeps you from acting like too much of a damn fool if you’re not really sure. People who are really sure all act like damn fools at least half of the time. Maybe more than that. I haven’t really studied that closely.  I’ll have to think some more about that. How often does being sure about everything make you act like a damn fool?

I’m now going to commit a federal crime. You want to see a federal crime committed? This is a pain killer provided by the Wo/Men’s Alliance for Medical Marijuana. It keeps my legs from hurting me too much.

  1. Tell me why you are here today, and what you hope to achieve?
  1. Well, in the first place, I hope to get my medicine so my leg won’t go on hurting the way that it’s been since I got off my ____. That is the immediate existential fact. I am in pain. I want medicine. The second reason I’m here is I happen to believe in State’s rights.  I believe in the Tenth Amendment, which most people have never heard of. Look in the back of your dictionary. you’ll find the document called The U.S. Constitution, has nothing to do with the way this government is operating under George Bush. The way it’s supposed to operate under the Tenth Amendment is all powers not delegated to the federal government are reserved to the states respectively or to The People. Now the State of California and the People of California are behind me.  And the federal government has no right to condemn me to a life of constant pain, which is what they’re trying to do. I don’t know what kind of sadistic sonofabitch George Bush is, why he wants to leave people in pain like this, but I don’t approve it, I don’t like it.  I’m ready to fight for my right to be free of pain.

If you’re going to be in pain most of the day, you’re not going to enjoy your life much. And George Bush insists that God has appointed him to make sure that I spend the rest of my life in pain without any relief. And I say, “Fuck you, George Bush. You should have these pains in your goddamned legs.”  I know it doesn’t sound very — I’m a Buddhist most of the time — but today I’m too angry. I’ll get back to being a Buddhist tomorrow.

  1. Anything else you want to add? Any final thoughts today?
  1. Yeah, I’m sorry for my bitterness against George Bush. He is equally empty, equally ___ and equally becoming Buddha. The trouble is the asshole doesn’t know it.

“I’d like to introduce Robert Anton Wilson, who is 72, who has post-polio syndrome.”

I am indeed Robert Anton Wilson, I do indeed have post-polio syndrome, but I am not 72, I am only 70. And I will go get my medicine after saying, “I like that sign.” I will pick up my medicine after saying, “Of all of the signs out there, the one I like best is the one telling the government to read the Tenth Amendment. The Tenth Amendment says that all powers not delegated to the federal government are reserved to the states respectively or to The People. Nowhere does it say a goddamned czar will be in charge of my medical care and interfere between me and my doctor. Anybody in Philadelphia in the 18th century who suggested putting something like that in the Constitution would have been considered a raving lunatic. This Constitution was not created to establish a czarist tyranny, it was established to create a free society.

I think my writing comes out of anger and optimism. Anger at the stupid, maniacal, corrupt crowd that’s running the world, and optimistic about the opportunities that are so real. This is, as I say, the result of my outrage, my horror, my grief and my anger at the way the world’s been going lately, and my continued optimism that maybe enough people can wake up in time to change the direction we’re going. So I’ve got both optimism and anger, which I think is a good mixture. It keeps me busy anyway.

I have a lot of hope. I may be the last optimist left on the planet for all I know. But at the same time, I see really terrible problems and injustices and violence all over the place. I just think we’re heading for a point at which that will no longer be viable. Somehow, we’re going to have to figure out a more decent form of society if we’re going to survive at all.

You can only write about what has impinged upon your nervous system strongly enough to leave a powerful imprint. And when I was 12 years old, they opened the Nazi annihilation camps. I think it’s a very vulnerable age for imprints. I grew up feeling like I was living in a race of monsters.  And I’ve lived all through the Cold War, the Vietnam War, and a lot of other tragedies, personal and otherwise, and I can’t write fiction without violence, because violence is so much part of the world I’ve lived in.

It’s obvious they are getting closer and closer to the edge where they can cure anything. Meanwhile the world is moving closer and closer to the edge where they can kill us all. It’s very interesting: science is going in one direction and politics is going in the other. I’m still an optimist. I think when people give up doing stupid things, it’s like walking into a wall, eventually you start looking for the door and you do something intelligent. The human race has to do something intelligent in the next 10-20 years.  It just can’t go on screwing up everything.

We’re living among infinite possibilities.  And the prevalent philosophies of post-modern pessimism that come out of the universities are really a major tragedy. The opportunities for progress and change of a positive nature are absolutely tremendous, and anybody who tells you that we are running out of resources or in a terrible mess — they are idiots! We can’t run out of resources. Resources exist when the human mind sees how to use something. To say we’re running out of resources is like saying we’re running out of brain cells.

I don’t know why so many people spend so much time in a pessimistic reality tunnel. It’s a miserable place to live. But some people feel that if they leave it, they feel guilty. If you’re not in a pessimistic tunnel, you’re not responsible. But once I got out of it, I never wanted to go back into it.

As far as I know, I’m the only survivor of the 60’s who is just as angry and just as optimistic as I was then.

Besides, until I die, I may as well be an optimist. Every day you’ve got choices to make, and the more optimistic you feel, the more likely you are to make charitable and kindly choices rather than angry ones.

If you want to be the most depressed person in the world, get up every morning, and remind yourself that George Bush is still in the White House.  And then listen to CNN for an hour, and you’ll find out that American bombers are pounding on another part of Afghanistan.  If you think about George Bush, and other gloomy things every day, eventually you’ll get pessimistic enough that you eventually can overdose on a sedative your doctor gave you to control your depression. If you want to become a concert pianist, do it every day. You want to be a writer, do it every day. You want to become depressed, think depressing thoughts every day. You want to become an optimist, think a cheerful thought every day. Do it every day.

I think over the course of my life, I have evolved from basically a rational person to a basically intuitive person, without completely losing my reason, I hope. And intuitive people do tend to live in the future. I don’t believe in Golden Ages. I don’t believe in the past. But I do think the Golden Age is possible in the future, and I want to try for it. I think Barnard Shaw called it “The Life Force.” I got this tremendous drive to try and do what I can to add my contribution to making a much better future in our history of human ideas and up until the present.

And I think the joy of art is trying to convey what you perceive so that other people will perceive it more or less the same way. Art is a form of seduction. I mean, there are rapists in the intellectual world.  They become politicians. The seducers become honest. We try to seduce people into our reality tunnels instead of leading them there with a gun. But we are trying to get them into our our reality tunnel, or our reality labyrinth, or whichever it is. In my case, it’s a reality labyrinth.

When I call the universe infinite, I do not assume it is infinite in space-time. But it has infinite aspects.  Which means that anybody who looks out will see something different, but anybody else who looks out will come back a day later and look at it again and it will still be different. William Blake said, “I see infinity in a grain of sand.”  And you can, if you’re open enough.

Everything that gets into your brain affects your reality tunnel, your world view, or your belief system, which I abbreviate B.S. The three main things I’ve been trying to teach in all of my books is, “Never believe fully in anybody else’s B.S.” I don’t care if it’s Rajneesh, the Pope, L. Ron Hubbard, George Bush, I don’t care who it is, don’t swallow all of their belief system totally.  Don’t go with all of their bullshit, all the B.S.

The second rule is likened to the first: “Don’t believe totally in your own B.S.” Which means that, as Bucky Fuller said, “Universe consists of nonsimultaneously apprehended events.” Universe is non-simultaneously apprehended. What?

Nonsimultaneously … universe is non-simultaneously apprehended. What? Universe is nonsimultaneously apprehended events.  Which means whatever belief system or reality tunnel you’ve got right now has to be revised and updated as you continue to apprehend new events later in time. Nonsimultaneously. You can’t apprehend, you can’t comprehend, you can’t perceive, you can’t understand the whole universe at once. That requires some thought, and some repetition: “Universe is non-simultaneously apprehended.” We go through our life, minute by minute, second by second, day by day, but we’re never seeing the same universe that we’ve seen. If we are, it’s because we start paying attention.  That’s why you get bored, because you’re not paying attention.

We can’t comprehend the whole universe just right now.  All space-time, how it takes 90 years for signals to get here from Sirius, even, think how long it would take to get here from the other end of the furthest galaxy. So, you know, in terms of our general relativity, it’s not the same time everywhere.  So the universe is non-simultaneously apprehended. That means at any particular time we only know part of the universe; tomorrow we’ll know more. Maybe not much more; maybe a lot more. Who knows? I might turn on CNN tomorrow morning and find the greatest scientific discovery of the last five million years has just been announced. Who knows? And then, again, it may take 20 years for a breakthrough of that magnitude. But scenario universe is nonsimultaneously apprehended, which is why we need Maybe Logic.

Our maps of the universe, our ideas should be changing all the time, too. People who claim, “I’ve got the truth” just don’t realize they’ve comprehended the whole universe simultaneously. It can’t be done. It can only be comprehended as part of it. They haven’t comprehended everything up to date either because most of them don’t know everything that happened up to today. I don’t know everything that happened up until this date. And the people who are most sure of themselves know even less than I do in most cases, which means they are really dumb.

This is the natural functioning of the human brain.  It’s the way children’s brains form before they are wrecked by the school system.  It’s the way that all great scientists and artists work.  But once you have a belief system, everything that comes in either gets ignored that doesn’t fit the belief system, or gets distorted enough so that it can’t get into the belief system. You gotta be continually revising your map of the world, or you lose more and more contact with reality. Anybody who has a belief system that covers the whole universe, that would be the Roman Catholics, Orthodox Islam, Scientologists, CSICOP, the Marxists, the Objectivists, and most of the assholes, well, what happened is, their brain stopped receiving new signals. Or to the extent that new signals do get in, they all have to be edited to fit into the belief system.

Now, I’ve shown you, you can’t say all about anything.  You can’t say all about the Universe.  You can’t know all about this room.  You can’t know all about this! And yet we think we know ourselves. What you really are is totally unknown, and by definition, infinite, because you can’t experience all of it at one time, and you can never know it all at one time. Everyday you can find new aspects to yourself, if you allow yourself to change and grow. And the best way to allow yourself to change and grow is to realize how little you know, and to pay more attention to what’s going on around you.

Three years ago, I couldn’t get off the couch. A few months ago I could walk three paces. I can now walk the whole length of the apartment without falling down, I hope. I want the audience to see the truth of what optimism can do. Hooray for the optimists! The end.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Robert Anton Wilson has written 35 books and published over 1,500 articles. For five years he was Associate Editor of Playboy Magazine (1966-1971). Since 1971, he has worked as futurist, playwright, screenwriter, poet, lecturer, and stand-up comic. In 1957, he married Arlen Riley with whom he raised four children. He currently resides in Santa Cruz, California. Maybe.

Manifest Destiny Part 2

Posted on by under Philosophy

CHAPTER 5: THE PIONEERS

=THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE =

  1. HUNG MUNG

A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen Chinese. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5.

  1. DR. VAN VAN MOJO

A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerrillas for World Peace. Patron of The Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19.

NOTE:

Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly contention that Dr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second Apostle. Lord Omar claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon Patamunzo, who sends only Love Vibrations in return. But we of the POEE sect know that Patamunzo is the Real Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to subvert Dr. Mojo’s rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits.

  1. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA

Commonly called just SRI SYADASTI. His name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. He is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry Jane. Patron to psychedelic type Discordians.

Patron of the Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be confused with Blessed St. Gulik the Stoned, who is not the same person but is the same Apostle.

  1. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH

A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger. Dubbed “Offender of The Faith.” Discovered the Five Commandments. Patron of the Season of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12

  1. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE

A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania (“Med-Terra” or middle earth), who followed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of Rome, Damascus, Baghdad, Jerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed to read “DOOM”. (This is a misunderstanding. The sign actually read “DUMB”. Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.) Patron and namesake of Mal-2. Patron of The Season of The Aftermath. Holyday: Oct 24.All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette.

The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. Patamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie.

Hey Man…Great! I feel goofy, the way my old man looks when he’s drunk.

 

THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH

being a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement

Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull Goose of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of the Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus, Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch

From the Honest Book of Truth, THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter 1

  1. There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was buried an Honest Book.
  2. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the Truth, that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and, spreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and, lying in the Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings — an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
  3. So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of Mullah, and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and five nights, but found no book.
  4. At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass that Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded himself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he had uncovered on the first day of his labors.
  5. Omar slept.
  6. On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and there came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the Dream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein was hidden a Golden Chest.
  7. And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the Stash, that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and, sharing it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in the Stash, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings – an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
  8. But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel : What is this shit, man? What care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration of all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to the Gods when the Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are paid better wages?
  9. And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground by an Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five nights.
  10. And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreampt, and in his Dream he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a Messenger of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box containing many filing cards, some of them in packs with rubber bands around, and upon these cards were sometimes written verses, while upon others nothing was written.
  11. Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest Book of Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and Lay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from it unto the Righteous, that they may renounce their ways and repent.

CONVENTIONAL CHAOS

GREYFACE

In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of Greyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as he, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways of Serious Order. “Look at all the order around you,” he said. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.

It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the disorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own.

The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now.

It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.

Bullshit makes the flowers grow & that’s beautiful. Climb into the Chao with a friend or two And follow the Way it carries you, Adrift like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew Over the Waves in whatever you do. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:3) [graphic deleted… if you wanna see it, READ THE BOOK]

Meanwhile, at the Chinese laundromat…

 

DOGMA I – METAPHYSICS #2, “COSMOLOGY”*

THE BOOK OF UTERUS

from the Honest Book of Truth revealed to Lord Omar

  1. Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge.
  2. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began gradually to overpower the Podge — and the Primal Chaos thereby came to be.
  3. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge.
  4. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly underpowered the Hodge and Everything broke loose.
  5. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion – that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order in the Region of Thud.
  6. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State of Confusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao.
  7. And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was hence called Discordia.
  8. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy perished in a paper shortage.
  9. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws.
  10. During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was the Aftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations, and reckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Repetition of the Universal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS!
  11. Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would Repeat Itself Five Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which nothing would happen.

* This doctrine should not be confused with DOGMA III – HISTORY #6, “HISTORIC CYCLES,” which states that social progress occurs in five cycles, the first three (“The Tricycle”) of which are THESIS, ANTITHESIS and PARENTHESIS; and the last two (“The Bicycle”) of which are CONSTERNATION and MORAL WARPTITUDE.

** The LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if something does not happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that in which it did not happen.

NOTE: It is from this text from The Book of Uterus, that POEE has based its Erisian Calendar with the year divided into 5 seasons of 73 days each. Each of the Five Apostles of Eris has patronage over one Season. A chart of the Seasons, Patrons, Days of the Week, Holydays, and a perpetual Gregorian converter is included in this edition of Principia.

Dull but Sincere Filler

 

“And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order = escalation of Disorder!” [H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6]

 

THE FIVE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA (“THEM”)

Gen. Pandaemonium, Commanding

The seeds of the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were planted by Greyface into his early disciples. They form the skeleton of the Aneristic Movement, which over emphasizes the Principle of Order and is antagonistic to the necessary compliment, the Principle of Disorder. The Orders are composed of persons all hung up on authority, security and control; i.e., they are blinded by the Aneristic Illusion. They do not know that they belong to Orders of Discordia. But we know.

  1. The Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE. This is for all the soldiers and bureaucrats of the world.
  2. The Political Order of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL. This is reserved for lawmakers, censors, and like ilk.
  3. The Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP. They commonly inhabit schools and universities, and dominate many of them.
  4. The Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS. This is mostly a grass-roots version of the more professional military, political, academic and sacred Orders.
  5. The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE. Not much is known about the D.L., but they are very ancient and quite possibly were founded by Greyface himself. It is known that they now have absolute domination over all organized churches in the world. It is also believed that they have been costuming cabbages and passing them off as human beings.

A person belonging to one or more Order is just as likely to carry a flag of the counter-establishment as the flag of the establishment– just as long as it is a flag.

 

Don’t let THEM immanentize the Eschaton.

 

HIP-2-3-4, HIP-2-3-4 Go To Your Left-Right…. THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST The second concept Wiener has to establish is that of entropy. Probability is a mathematical concept, coming from statistics. Entropy comes from physics. It is the assertion– established logically and experimentally– that the universe, by its nature, is “running down”, moving toward a state of inert uniformity devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentiation.

That is, in any given situation, less organization, more chaos, is overwhelmingly more probable than tighter organization or more order.

 

The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermodynamics– perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought.

It applies however, to a closed system, to something that is an isolated whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be parts, which draw their energy from the whole, that are moving at least temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order is increasing and chaos is diminishing.

The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed to the main current are called “enclaves”. And one of them is life, especially human life, which in a universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves towards increased order.

 

IF THE TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY….. WATER IT! -Rev. Thomas, Gnostic N.Y.C. Cabal

 

Personal

PLANETARY Pi, which I discovered, is 61. It’s a Time-Energy relationship existing between sun and inner plants and I use it in arriving at many facts unknown to science. For example, multiply nude earth’s circumference 24,902.20656 by 61 and you get the distance of moon’s orbit around the earth. This is slightly less than the actual distance because we have not yet considered earth’s atmosphere. So be it. Christopher Garth, Evanston

 

“I should have been a plumber.” –Albert Einstein

 

“Grasshopper always wrong in argument with chicken” -Book of Chan compiled by O.P.U. sect

 

= ZARATHUD’S ENLIGHTENMENT =

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers.

One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing.

“Tell me, you dumb beast.” demanded the Priest in his commanding voice, “why don’t you do something worthwhile. What is your Purpose in Life, anyway?”

Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied “MU”.*

Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened. Primarily because nobody could understand Chinese.

* “MU” is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING

 

TAO FA TSU-DAN FIND PEACE WITH A CONTENTED CHAO

 

THE SACRED CHAO

THE SACRED CHAO is the key to illumination. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung in ancient China, it was modified and popularized by the Taoists and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON which symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.

The Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever know about absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes everything not worth knowing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the Hodge-Podge.

 

HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS.

If you are not hot for philosophy, best just to skip it.

The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made concepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper that is the level of distinction making.

With our concept making apparatus called “mind” we look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The ideas-about- reality are mistakenly labeled “reality” and unenlightened people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other cultures, see “reality” differently. It is only the ideas-about-reality which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper that is the level of concept.

We look at the world through windows on which have been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group of people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle.

Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be more True than any other.

DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some particular grid. But, like “relation”, no-relation is a concept. Male, like female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is “absence of female-ness”, or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysically arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.

The belief that “order is true” and disorder is false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION.

The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition relative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and disordered.

Reality is the original Rorschach.

 

Verily! So much for all that.

 

The words of the Foolish and those of the Wise Are not far apart in Discordian Eyes. (HBT; The Book of Advise, 2:1) The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia, which represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it, “KALLISTI” is Greek for “TO THE PRETTIEST ONE” and refers to an old myth about The Goddess. But the Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder, and thought it to be a negative principle.

The Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and symbolizes the HODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one, it can be taken to represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of formal order to reach elaborate development;* for another, it specifically accords with THE LAW OF FIVES.

 

THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT. -Patamunzo Lingananda It is also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket order resting on a firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into dazzling disorder; and this building is one of our more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is not particularly intended and it should be noted that the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against werewolves– our membership roster is open to persons of all races, national origins and hobbies.

____________________________________

* The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and an AVATAR. We call him Archangle Pythagoras.

 

  1. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his head, saying “I do not know! I do not know!”

HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1

 

BRUNSWICK SHRINE

In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley, and within this very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris revealed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first time.

In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about It All.

 

It is written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth time five times over, than shall the world come to an end:

 

IMPENDING DOOM HAS ARRIVED

And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign for All Literates to Read thereof: “DOOM”, as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal This Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud for These Five Days. As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning such a Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to actually going.

___________________________________

* Or maybe it was 1958, I forget.

 

STARBUCK’S PEBBLES

Which Is Real? * * * * * Do these 5 pebbles REALLY form a pentagon?

[note: they were pebbles, originally..try doing ASCII pebbles -DtC]

Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes. Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no. Criss-cross them and it is a star.

An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that any one is really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and disorder are all his creations and he may do with them as he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of number 5.

The real reality is there, but everything you KNOW about “it” is in your mind and yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art, and YOU ARE THE ARTIST.

Convictions cause convicts.

 

Can you chart the COURSE to Captain Valentine’s SWEETHEART? Hemlock? I never touch the stuff! When I was 8 or 9 years old, I acquired a split beaver magazine. You can imagine my disappointment when,upon examination of the photos with a microscope, I found that all I could see was dots. 7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed.

 

ERIS CONTEMPLATES FOR 3125 YEARS

 Pun-jab is Sikh, Sikh, Sikh!

 

THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)

A Non-prophet Irreligious Disorganization

MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold HIGH PRIEST THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS (X) Official Business ( )Surreptitious Business page 1 of 1 pages Official Discordian Document Number (if applicable): n/a ( ) the Golden Apple Corps (X)House of Disciples of Discordia The Bureaucracy, Bureau of: DOGMAS ( ) Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of the POEE ( ) Drawer o Today’s DATE: day of the Carrot yesterday’s DATE: Yes ->

Your acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some observations of my own.

ERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS, which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer in use. >From this it may be concluded that Eris has usurped Eros (god of erotic love) in the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE. Then She apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasury and went to Brazil; whereupon She opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a rise from the male population). I figure it to be this in particular because MADAM reads the same forwards and backwards. And further, it is a term of great respect, similar to SIRE.

And so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery of just where Eris has been fucking around for 3125 years.

 

FIVE TONS OF FLAX!

->

KALLISTI

HAIL ERIS

ALL HAIL DISCORDIA

safeguard this letter, it may be an IMPORTANT DOCUMENT

Form No.: O.D.D. IIb/ii.1-37D.VVM:3134

 

DOGMA III – HISTORY #2, “COSMOGONY”

which is not the same as

DOGMA I – METAPHYSICS #2, “COSMOLOGY” (Book of Uterus)

In the beginning there was VOID, who had two daughters; one (the smaller) was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger) was of NON- BEING, named ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental truth that Aneris is the larger is apparent to all who compare the great number of things that do not exist with the comparatively small number of things that do exist.)

Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an unusually long gestation period– longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy bore the fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic Elements, SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all of the existent things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she stole some existent things and changed them into non- existent things and claimed them as her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust (being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And so She made herself swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many of her begotten that Aneris would steal, She would beget more. And, in return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her own. (And to this day, things appear and disappear in this very manner.)

At first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos and went in every which way, but by the by She began playing with them and ordered some of them just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arose from this play and for the next five zillion years She amused Herself by creating order. And so She grouped some things with others and some groups with others, and big groups with little groups, and all combinations until She had many grand schemes which delighted Her.

Engrossed in establishing order, She finally one day noticed disorder (previously not apparent because everything was chaos). There were many ways in which chaos was ordered and many ways in which it was not.

“Hah,” She thought, “Here shall be a new game.”

And She taught order and disorder to play with each other in contest games, and to take turns amusing each other. She named the side of disorder after Herself, “ERISTIC” because Being is anarchic. And then, in a mood of sympathy for Her lonely sister, She named the other side “ANERISTIC” which flattered Aneris and smoothed the friction a little that was between them.

Now all of this time, Void was somewhat disturbed. He felt unsatisfied for he had created only physical existence and physical non- existence, and had neglected the spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and he went into a state of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal, he begat a brother to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at all.

When the sisters heard this, they both confronted Void and pleaded that he not forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed thus:

That this brother, having no form, was to reside with Aneris in Non-Being and then to leave her and, so that he might play with order and disorder, reside with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled with sorrow when She heard this and then began to weep.

“Why are you despondent?” demanded Void, “Your new brother will have his share with you.” “But Father, Aneris and I have been arguing, and she will take him from me when she discovers him, and cause him to return to Non- Being.” “I see,”replied Void, “Then I decree the following:

“When your brother leaves the residence of Being, he shall not reside again in Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence he came. You girls may bicker as you wish, but My son is your Brother and We are all of Myself.”

And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it shall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that nameless spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus.

 

“Everything is true – Everything is permissible!”

 

->

 

There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane.

 

A POEE MYSTEREE RITE – THE SRI SYADASTIAN CHANT

Written, in some sense, by Mal-2

Unlike a song, chants are not sung but chanted. This particular one is much enhanced by the use of a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone, with all participants chanting the English. It also behooves one to be in a quiet frame of mind and to be sitting in a still position, perhaps The Buttercup Position. It also helps if one is absolutely zonked out of his gourd.

RUB-A-DUB-DUB O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung. SYA-DASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo. SYA-DAVAK-TAVYA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud. SYA-DASTI SYA-NASTI O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mal. SYA-DASTI KAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik. SYA-DASTI, SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA O! Hail Eris. All Hail Dis-cord-ia. RUB-A-DUB-DUB

It is then repeated indefinitely, or for the first two thousand miles, which ever comes first.

The Classification of Saints

  1. SAINT SECOND CLASS

To be reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood. Example: St. Norton the First, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his grave near San Francisco is an official POEE shrine.)

THE FOLLOWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO, NOT BEING ACTUAL, ARE MORE CAPABLE OF PERFECTION.

  1. LANCE SAINT

Good Saint material and definitely inspiring. Example: St. Yossarian (Catch 22, Heller)

  1. LIEUTENANT SAINT

Excellent Goddess-Saturated Saint. Example: St. Quixote (Don Quixote, Cervantes)

  1. BRIGADIER SAINT

Comparable to Lt/Saint but has an established following (fictional or factual). Example: St. Bokonon (Cat’s Cradle, Vonnegut)

  1. FIVE STAR SAINT

The Five Apostles of Eris.

Note: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree with each other about Saints.

Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Herman Hesse. Only a handfull understood Albert Einstein. And nobody understood Emperor Norton. (Slogan of NORTON CABAL – S.F.)TESTS BY DOCTORS PROVE IT POSSIBLE TO SHRINK

 

=ON OCCULTISM=

Magicians, especially since the Gnostic and the Quabala influences, have sought higher consciousness through assimilation and control of universal opposites– good/evil, positive/negative, male/female, etc. But due to the steadfast pomposity of ritualism inherited from the ancient methods of the shaman, occultists have been blinded to what is perhaps the two most important pairs of apparent or earth-plane opposites: ORDER/DISORDER and SERIOUS/HUMOROUS.

Magicians, and progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves and their subject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an essential metaphysical balance. When magicians learn to approach philosophy as a malleable art instead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate the absurdity of man’s endeavours, then they will be able to pursue their art with a lighter heart, and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore gain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY.

This is an essential challenge to the basic concepts of all western occult thought, and POEE is humbly pleased to offer the first breakthrough in occultism since Solomon.

“Study Demonology with an Enemy This Sunday” sez Thom,Gnos

 

POEE ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM

  1. On your next birthday, return to the place of your birth and, at precisely midnight, noting your birth time and date of observation, count all visible stars.
  2. When you have done this, write to me and I’ll tell you what to do next.

The Eminent 16th Century Mathemetician Cardan so detested Luther that he altered Luther’s birthdate to give him an unfavorable horoscope.

The theorem to be proved is that if any even number of people take seats at random around a circular table bearing place cards with their names, it is always possible to rotate the table until at least two people are opposite their cards. Assume the contrary. Let N be the even number of persons, and let their names be replaced by the integers 0 to N-1 “in such a way that the place cards are numbered in sequence around the table. If a delegate D originally sits down to a place card P, then the table must be rotated R steps before he is correctly seated, where R=P-D, unless this is negative, in which case R=P-D+N. The collection of values of D (and of P) for all delegates is clearly the integers 0 to N-1,each taken once, but so also is the collection of values of R, or else two delegates would be correctly seated at the same time. Summing the above equations, one for each delegate, gives S-S+NK, where K is an integer and S=N(N-1)/2, the sum of the integers from 0 to N-1. It follows that N=2K+1, an odd number.” This contradicts the original assumption.

“I actually solved this problem some years ago,” Rybicki writes, “for a different but completely equivalent problem, a generalization of the nonattacking ‘eight queens’ problem for a cylindrical chessboard where diagonal attack is restricted to diagonals slanting in one direction only.”

 

THE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM

To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder.

The Curse of Greyface included the division of life into order/disorder as the essential positive/negative polarity, instead of building a game foundation with creative/destructive as the essential positive/negative. He has thereby caused man to endure the destructive aspects of order and has prevented man from effectively participating in the creative uses of disorder. Civilization reflects this unfortunate division.

POEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible and desirable; and that destructive order, like destructive disorder, is unnecessary and undesirable.

Seek the Sacred Chao – therein you will find the foolishness of all ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same!

 

ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL – THE TURKEY CURSE

Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to the evil Curse of Greyface, THE TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to Erisians everywhere for their just protection. The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that Greyface and his followers absolutely require an aneristic setting to function and that a timely introduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their foundation. The Turkey Curse is designed solely to counteract negative aneristic vibes and if introduced into a neutral or positive aneristic setting (like a poet working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, or at worst, simply annoying. It is not designed for use against negative eristic vibes, although it can be used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a misguided eristic setting. In this instance, it would be the responsibility of the Erisian Magician to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to be achieved. CAUTION- all magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity on the part of the magician. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Positive motivation is essential for self-protection. TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE: Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs. Face the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and clearly: GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE! The results will be instantly apparent.

 

A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS

by Lord Omar

The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the ignorant. The “socratic approach” is what you call starting an argument by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask “Did you know that God’s name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?” If he should answer “Yes.” then he probably is a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says “No.” then quickly proceed to: THE BLIND ASSERTION and say “Well, He Is a girl, and His name is ERIS!” Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to: THE FAITH BIT: “But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don’t have Faith.” And then add: THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask “Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?” If he hesitates, don’t tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to: THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim “Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?” If he says, “Nobody, just impersonal forces.” then quickly respond with: THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutely right, and that those impersonal forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to: THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem than like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distributed to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him on your mailing list.

 

SINK A GAME by Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS SINK is played by Discordians and people of much ilk. PURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing… in water or mud or anything you can sink something in. RULES: Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date, ten pound chunks of mud were used to sink a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of water or a hole to drop things in. But rivers – bays – gulfs – I dare say even oceans can be used. TURNS are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up and in the air first. DUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing “SINK” to help find more objects to sink, once one object is sunk. UPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell “I sank it!” or something equally as thoughtful. NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by the finder of such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, “I sunk Columbus, Ohio!” “In a way, we’re a kind of Peace Corps.” – Maj. A. Lincoln German, Training Director of the Green Beret Special Warfare School, Ft. Bragg, N.C.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Joint Effort of the Discordian Society POST OFFICE LIBERATION FRONT Export License Not Required THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER. WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVE DAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINS! In the meantime – plant your seeds. If a lot of people who receive this letter plant a few seeds and a lot of people receive this letter, then a lot of seeds will get planted. Plant your seeds. In parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote places. At City Hall. Wherever. Whenever. Or start a plantation in your closet (but read up on it first for that). For casual planting, its best to soak them in water for a day and plant in a bunch of about 5, about half an inch deep. Don’t worry much about the weather, they know when the weather is wrong and will try to wait for nature. Don’t soak them if its wintertime. Seeds are a very hearty life form and strongly desire to grow and flourish. But some of them need people’s help to get started. Plant your seeds. Make a few copies of this letter (5 would be nice) and send them to friends of yours. Try to mail to different cities and states, even different countries. If you would rather not, then please pass this copy on to someone and perhaps they would like to. THERE IS NO TRUTH to the legend that if you throw away a chain letter then all sorts of catastrophic, abominable, and outrageous disasters will happen. Except, of course, from your seed’s point of view.

 

  1. “How come a woodpecker doesn’t bash its brains out?” A. Nobody has ever explained that. Mary Jane says “Plant Your Seeds. Keep Prices Down.”

 

“And God said, behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of the earth… to you it shall be for meat.” -Genesis 1:29 [graphical stuff deleted -DtC]

 

Questions Have a friendly class talk. Permit each child to tell any part of the unit on “Courtesy in the Corridors and on the Stairs” that he enjoyed. Name some causes of disturbance in your school. Chapter 1, THE EPISTLE TO THE PARANOIDS –Lord Omar 1. Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear–and, behold, do ye now complain that ye lack FREEDOM! 2. Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye, lamenting, that ye’ve been left to fight alone. 3. All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye was sore afraid in dark corners, nooks, and sink holes. 4. O how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the other, in ye hearts! What fear ye more that what ye have wroughten? 5. Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister Ministers of the Bavarian Illuminati, working together in multitudes, could so entwine the land with tribulation as have yer baseless warnings. DESPITE strong evidence to the contrary, persistant rumor has it that it was Mr. Momomoto’s brother who swallowed Mr. Momomoto in the summer of ’44.

 

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BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.) Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.) THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA invite YOU to join The World’s Oldest and Most Successful Conspiracy Have you ever SECRETLY WONDERED WHY IS there an ESOTERIC ALLEGORY con- The GREAT PYRAMID has FIVE sides cealed in the apparently innocent (counting the bottom)? legend of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs? WHAT IS the TRUE secret SINISTER WHY do scholarly anthropologists REALITY lying behind the ANCIENT TURN PALE with terror at the Aztec Legend of QUETZLCOATL? very MENTION of the FORBIDDEN name YOG-SOTHOTH? WHO IS the MAN in ZURICH WHAT REALLY DID HAPPEN that some SWEAR is LEE TO AMBROSE BIERCE? HARVEY OSWALD? If your I.Q. is over 150, and you have $3,125.00 (plus handling), you might be eligible for a trial membership in the A.I.S.B. If you think you qualify, put the money in a cigar box and bury it in your backyard. One of our Underground Agents will contact you shortly. I DARE YOU! TELL NO ONE! ACCIDENTS HAVE A STRANGE WAY OF HAPPENING TO PEOPLE WHO TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI May we warn you against imitations! Ours is the original and genuine

 

“Nothing is true. Everything is Permissible” – Hassan i Sabbah

 

NIL CARBORUNDUM ILLEGITIMO

 

“Illuminate the Opposition!” — Adam Weishaupt, Grand Primus Illuminatus Official Bavarian Illuminati “Ewige Blumenkraft!”

 

INTER-OFFICE WIRE SENT THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA – VIGILANCE LODGE Mad Malik, Hauptscheissmeister; Resident for Norton Cabal DISCORDIAN SOCIETY SUPER SECRET CRYPTOGRAPHIC CYPHER CODE Of possible interest to all Discordians, this information is herewith released from the vaults of A.I.S.B., under the auspices of Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatius, KNS.

SAMPLE MESSAGE: (“HAIL ERIS”) CONVERSATION: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

STEP 1. Write out the message (HAIL ERIS) and put all the vowels at the end (HLRSAIEI)

STEP 2. Reverse order (IEIASRLH)

STEP 3. Convert to numbers (9-5-9-1-19-18-12-8)

STEP 4. Put into numerical order (1-5-8-9-9-12-18-19)

STEP 5. Convert back to letters (AEHIILRS) This cryptographic cypher code is GUARANTEED TO BE 100% UNBREAKABLE. BEWARE! THE PARANOIDS ARE WATCHING YOU!

 

Here is a letter from A.I.S.B. to POEE:

The World’s Oldest And Most Successful Conspiracy BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.) Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.) ( )Official Business (X) Surreptitious Business From: MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister Dear Brother Mal-2, In response to your request for unclassified agitprop to be inserted in the new edition of PRINCIPIA, hope the following will be of use. And please stop bothering us with your incessant letters! Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs me that you are welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have been fully established in Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley slave who ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth, circa 10,000 B.C. Possibly it was he who taught the inner-teachings to Conan of Cimmeria after Conan became King of Aquilonia. First brought to the western hemisphere by Conan and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua, 8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul Alhazred in his infamous Al Azif, circa 800 A.D. (Al Azif translated into Latin by Olaus Wormius, 1132 A.D., as The Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of The Ismaelian Sect (Hashishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret teachings based on Alhazred, Pelias and Kull. Founding of the Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776. He based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States during the period that he was impersonating George Washington; and it was he who was the Man in Black who gave the design for The Great Seal to Jefferson in the garden that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of course, in the hands of The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in the United States. Our teachings are not, need I remind you, available for publication. No harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be found disguised in Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake, Burroughs Nova Express, the King James translation of the Holy Bible (though not the Latin or Hebrew), and The Blue Book. Not to speak of Ben Franklin’s private papers (!), but we are still suppressing those. Considering current developments–you know the ones I speak of–it has been decided to reveal a few more of our front organizations. Your publication is timely, so mention that in addition to the old fronts like the Masons, the Rothchild Banks, and the Federal Reserve System, we now have significant control of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that is still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society, the Communist Party USA, the American Anarchist Assn., the Junior Chamber of Commerce, the Black Lotus Society, the Republican Party, the John Dillinger Die For You Society, and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue the sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world domination; so do not reveal that political and economic control was generally complete several generations ago and that we are just playing with the world for a while until civilization advances sufficiently for phase five. In fact you might still push Vennard’s The Federal Reserve Hoax: “Since the Babylonian Captivity there has existed a determined, behind-the- scenes under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian force–worshipers of Mamon–whose undying purpose is world control through the control of Money. July 1, 1776 (correct that to May 1st, Vennard can’t get anything right) the Serpent raised its head in the under-ground secret society known as the Illuminati, founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is considerable documentary evidence to prove all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and chaos stem from this source.” Etc., etc., you know the stuff. The general location of our US HQ, incidentally, has been nearly exposed; and so we will be moving for the first time this century (what a drag!). If you want, you can reveal that it is located deep in the labyrinth of sewers beneath Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided over by The Dealy Lama. Inclosed are some plans for several new potential locations. Please review and add any comments you feel pertinent, especially regarding the Eristic propensity of the Pentagon site. Oh, and we have some good news for you, Brother Mal! You know that Zambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has secretly co- ordinated the FBI computers with the Zurich System and our theoriticians are in ecstasy over the new information coming out. Look, if you people out there can keep from blowing yourselves up for only two more generations, then we will finally have it. After 20,000 years, Kull’s dream will be realized! We can hardly believe it. But the outcome is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren, Mal! If civilization makes it through this crises, our grandchildren will live in a world of authentic freedom and authentic harmony and authentic satisfaction. I hope I’m alive to see it, Mal, success is in our grasp. Twenty thousand years….! Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the Principia. Ewige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS. Love, MAD MALIK PS: PRIVATE – Not for publication in The Principia. We are returning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified communications. Herewith your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS INFORMATION – SECURITY E-5. [note: Graphic Cypher deleted DtC]

 

Part Five The Golden Secret NONSENSE AS SALVATION The human race will begin solving it’s problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously. To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES. To this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being. And when men become free then mankind will be free. May you be free of The Curse of Greyface. May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes. May you have the knowledge of a sage, and the wisdom of a child. Hail Eris. T’AI ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ _________ _________ _________

 

THUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA This being the 4th Edition, March 1970, San Francisco; a revision of the 3rd Edition of 500 copies, whomped together in Tampa 1969; which revised the 2nd Edition of 100 copies from Los Angeles 1969; which was a revision of “PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS LOST” published in New Orleans in 1965 in five copies, which were mostly lost. If you think the PRINCIPIA is just a ha-ha, then go read it again. (K) ALL RIGHTS REVERSED – Reprint what you like Published by POEE Head Temple – San Francisco ” On The Future Site of Beautiful San Andreas Canyon” Office of My High Reverence Malaclypse the Younger KSC OPOVIG HIGH PRIEST POEE KALLISTI THE LAST WORD The foregoing document was revealed to Mal-2 by the Goddess Herself through many consultations with Her within his Pineal Gland. It is guaranteed to be the Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to state that Goddess doesn’t always say the same thing to each listener, and that other Episkoposes are sometimes told quite different things in their Revelations, which are also the Word of Goddess. Consequently, if you prefer a Discordian Sect other than POEE, then none of these Truths are binding, and it is a rotten shame that you have read all the way down to the very last word.

 

DISCORDIAN SOCIETY

Dedicated to an Advanced Understanding of the Paraphysical Manifestations of Everyday Chaos

DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A LOPSIDED PINEAL GLAND? Well, probably you do have one, and it’s unfortunate because lopsided Pineal Glands have perverted the Free Spirit of Man, and subverted Life into a frustrating, unhappy and hopeless mess. Fortunately, you have before you a handbook that will show you how to discover your salvation through ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION. It will advise you how to balance your Pineal Gland and reach spiritual Illumination. And it will teach you how to turn your miserable mess into a beautiful, joyful, and splendid one. POEE is a bridge from PISCES to AQUARIUS

the Words of the Illuminated Rated X… NATURALLY Why are we Here ? SUPPRESSED KNOWLEDGE Have you ever secretly HYGIENE wondered why the Great The Lord promised: “Therefore, Pyramid has five sides? – behold, I will bring evil upon counting the bottom? the house of Jeroboam and will cut off from Jeroboam him that GRAND OPERA pisseth against the wall…” “Wherefore my bowels shall sound -I Kings 14:10 (This like a harp for Moab, and mine unsanitary practice caused inner parts for Kirharesh.” serious erosion of the mud -Isaiah 16:11 walls) Face to fact with the mighty forces and elements of nature, the thoughtful man fearlessly contemplates his place in the great cosmic scheme.

 

-><- POEE ->

 

YES, I’d like to know the Five Simple Actions that will turn Me into a “Mental Wizard” in a Single Weekend. Warning! Prolonged use in a darkened room may induce hallucinations or trigger undesired side effects. Should not be used in the presence of persons subject to epilepsy.

 

THIS MAY BE THE MOST IMPORTANT GUIDE IN YOUR LIFE!

 

-THE GODDESS ERIS PREVAILS-

Manifest Destiny Part 1

Posted on by under Philosophy

The Principia Discordia

A jug of wine,

A leg of lamb

And thou!

Beside me,

Whistling in

the darkness.

Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order…

– The Book of Uterus 1;5

 

Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP.

GREATER POOP: Are you really serious or what?

MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.

GP: Maybe you are just crazy.

M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The reason that I am crazy is because they are true.

GP: Is Eris true?

M2: Everything is true.

GP: Even false things?

M2: Even false things are true.

GP: How can that be?

M2: I don’t know man, I didn’t do it.

GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives?

M2: To dissolve them.

GP: Will you develop that point?

M2: No.

GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?

M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master’s reply was “Three pounds of flax.”

GP: Is that the answer to my question?

M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!

Principia Discordia or How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her When I found Her being a Beginning Introduction to The Erisian Mysterees Which is Most Interesting

-><- as Divinely Revealed to My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold and HIGH PRIEST of THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE) HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI ->

 

Dedicated to The Prettiest One

The Upstart of one hand clapping

 

I Tell You: One must

still have chaos in one

to give birth to a

dancing star!

-Nietzsche

THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)

The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.

KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

I – There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II – A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III – A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV – A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V – A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If they are our brothers, how come we can’t eat them?

A ZEN STORY

by Camden Benares, The Count of Five, Headmaster, Camp Meeker Caba

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled. One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, “go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate.” He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him. His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied “Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead.” Hearing this, the man was enlightened.

 

Western Union Telegram

To: Jehova Yahweh

Care: Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)

Presidential Tier, Paradise

 

Dear God;

This is to inform you that your current position as deity is herewith terminated due to gross incompetence STOP Your check will be mailed STOP Please do not use me for a reference

Respectfully,

 

Malaclypse the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather

POEE High Priest

 

  1. The Earth quakes and the heavens rattle; the beasts of nature flock together and the nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher up heat while elsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on other days it just rains. 11. Indeed do many things come to pass.

HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19

 

THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT

The Revelation

Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late nineteen- fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant….

Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world’s problems. This particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. “Solve the problem of discord,” said one, “and all other problems will vanish.” “Indeed,” said the other, “chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion.”

First I Must Sprinkle You With Fairy Dust

Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned.

The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped.

There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men.

“Gentlemen,” he said, “why does Pickering’s Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg’s Law?” He paused.

 

“SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!”

And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin- yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two lost consciousness.

ERIS – Goddess of Chaos, Discord & Confusion

They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was apparant that their experience had been private.

They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee’s diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as Eris and to the Romans as Discordia. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice:

I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.

You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.

I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free.

During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that Eris or Discordia was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. “No wonder things are all screwed up,” they concluded, “they have got it all backwards.” They found that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order.

With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them:

It is called the Sacred Chao. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as Discord, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: ‘TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS.

And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.

“What is this?” mumbled one to the other, “A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!”

And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be.

“There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.”

-Neils Bohr

“Did you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next door?” “But there is no house next door.” “No? Then let’s go build one!”

-MARX

 

Fnords ->:

 

Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.

 

St. Trinian’s SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE Sewing Circle

 

THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY

by Lord Omar

 

VERSE

Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao;

It is hovering o’er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now

Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb;

Her Apple Corps is strong!

 

CHORUS

Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!

Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!

Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!

Her Apple Corps is strong!

 

VERSE

She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;*

So She threw a Golden Apple, ‘sted of turn’d t’other cheek!

O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak;

Her Apple Corps is strong!

* “Limbo Peak” refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks “Ol’ Limb’ Peak.”

If a quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba…?

“The tide is turning… the enemy is suffering terrible losses”

-Gen. Geo. A. CusterPeople in a Position to Know, Inc.

 

ON PRAYER

Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He replied with these words:

No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently — and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood.

“Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. I’m mad but not ill”

(Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison)

 

  1. Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is Spoken. Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind Everything, as you hurry along the Path.

 

THE PURPLE SAGE

HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19

 

Heaven is down. Hell is up. This is proven by the fact that the planets and stars are orderly in their movements, IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS while down on earth The meaning of this is unknown we come close to the primal chaos. There are four other proofs, but I forget them. -Josh the Dill King Kong Kabal

 

IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.

 

The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks.

 

DO NOT CIRCULATE!

 

What We Know About ERIS (not much)

The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity–She was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and as concealing a dagger in Her Bosom. Actually, most women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms.

Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both), and Nyx’s brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.

One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. “They were,” She added, “victims of indigestion, you know.”

 

Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.

*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If you have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, “The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland”

DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS

-Horace

 

THE INSIDE STORY!

The Law of Fives

The Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from The Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus.

POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar’s sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria.

The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5.

The Law of Fives is never wrong.

In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: “I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look.”

Please do not use this document as toilet tissue The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun shines by day because, being a woman, it is afraid to venture out at night.

“You will find that the State is the kind of ORGANIZATION which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly too.”

– John Kenneth Galbraith

 

THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD

It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.*

This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI (“To The Prettiest One”) and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.

Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything.

Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.

Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite’s bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.

As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (the Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men.

And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.

Do you believe that?

 

* This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB

** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of metallic gold or acapulco.

*** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of Fives.

 

+———–+ | Remember: | | KING | | KONG | | Died for | | your Sins | +———–+

 

Ho Chi Zen is King Cong

 

  1. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We Know It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal Form, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or Unbalanced Balance.
  2. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance, or Stagnation, is attained.
  3. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition back to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which the Age passeth, finally. These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance.

HBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3

 

Do You Remember?

 

  1. Polite children will always remember that a church is __________ the __________  of .

 

An Erisian Hymn

by Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB

Episkopos, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS

 

Onwards Christian Soldiers,

Onwards Buddhist Priests.

Onward, Fruits of Islam,

Fight till you’re deceased.

Fight your little battles.

Join in thickest fray;

For the Greater Glory,

of Dis-cord-i-a.

Yah, yah, yah,

Yah, yah, yah, yah.

Blfffffffffffft!

 

Mr. Momomoto, famous Japanese who can swallow his nose, has been exposed. It was recently revealed that it was Mr. Momomoto’s brother who has been doing all this nose swallowing.

Heute Die Welt Morgens das Sonnensystem! Abbey of the Barbarous Relic

 

Official Proclamation

POEE DISORGANIZATIONAL MATRIX

  • V) The House of Apostle of ERIS For the Eristocracy and the Cabalablia
    • The Five Apostles of ERIS
    • The Golden Apple Corps (KSC)
    • Episkoposes of The Discordian Society
    • POEE Cabal Priests
    • Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like Personages
  • IV) The House of the Rising Podge for the Disciples of Discordia
    • Office of My High Reverence, The Polyfather
    • Council of POEE Priests
    • The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD
    • Eristic Avatars
    • Aneristic Avatars
  • III) The House of the Rising Hodge For the Bureaucracy
    • The Bureau of Erisian Archives
    • The Bureau of The POEE Epistolary, and The Division of Dogmas
    • The Bureau of Symbols, Emblems, Certificates and Such
    • The Bureau of Eristic Affairs, and The Administry for The Unenlightened Eristic Horde
    • The Bureau of Aneristic Affairs, and the Administry for the Orders of Discordia
  • II) The House of the Rising Collapse For the Encouragement of Liberation of Freedom, and/or the Discouragement of the Immanentizing of the Eschaton
    • The Breeze of Wisdom and/or The Wind of Insanity
    • The Breeze of Integrity and/or The Wind of Arrogance
    • The Breeze of Beauty and/or The Wind of Outrages
    • The Breeze of Love and/or The Wind of Bombast
    • The Breeze of Laughter and/or The Wind of Bullshit
  • I) The Out House For what is left over
    • Miscellaneous Avatars
    • The Fifth Column
    • POEE =POPES= everywhere
    • Drawer “O” for OUT OF FILE
    • Lost Documents and Forgotten Truths

->

 

= THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS =

The official symbol of POEE is here illustrated. It may be this, or any similar device to represent TWO OPPOSING ARROWS CONVERGING INTO A COMMON POINT. It may be vertical, horizontal, or else such, and it may be elaborated or simplified as desired.

The esoteric name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS, commonly shortened to THE HAND.

\ / —–>NOTE: In the lore of western magic, the \/ is taken to symbolize horns, especially the horns of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five Fingered Hand of Eris, however, is not intended to be taken as satanic, for the “horns” are supported by another set, of inverted “horns”. Or maybe it is walrus tusks. I don’t know what it is, to tell the truth.

“Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it”

-Breton

 

-><- POEE ->PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean “equivalent deity, reversity beyond-mystique.” We are not really esoteric, it’s just that nobody pays much attention to us.

 

MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He is called [The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold].

The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2’s pineal gland and can be found by temporally and spacially locating the rest of Mal-2.

POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2’s pineal gland, and has only one scruple–which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain.

POEE has not registered, incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only fair, because POEE does not recognize the State.

POEE has 5 DEGREES:

 

There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE.

The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on.

An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN.

The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather.

And POEE =POPE=. POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER ordains priests. I don’t know about the =POPES=.

“This book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks out.”

-Lichtenberg

 

Application For Membership In the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIAN SOCIETY

  1. Today’s date Yesterday’s Date 2. Purpose of this application: –membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic Discord b. POEE c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above e. None of the Above f. Other– BE SPECIFIC! 3. Name Holy Name Address (If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded) 4. Description: Born: []Yes []No Eyes:[]2 []other Height: ….. fl. oz. Last time you had a haircut: Reason: Race: []horse []human I.Q.: 150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300 5. History: Education – highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th Professional: On another ream of paper list every job since 1937 from which you have been fired. Medical: On a separate sheet labeled “confidential” list all major psychic psychotic episodes experienced within the last 24 hours. 6. Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits I would rather a. live in an outhouse b. play in a rock group c. eat caterpillars. I wear obscene tattoos because ………. I have ceased raping little children []yes []no — reason ………. 7. Self Portrait Rev. Mungo For Office Use Only — acc. rej. burned

 

+——————-+ | LICK HERE!!! | | | | * | | | | (You may be one | | of the lucky 25) | +——————-+

 

POEE & It’s Priests

If you like Erisianism as it is presented according to Mal-2, then you may wish to from your own POEE CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you can go do a bunch of POEE Priestly Things. A “POEE Cabal” is exactly what you think it is.

The High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does rather expect good will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point, not to teach. Once in a while, he even listens.

Should you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become substantially different that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps the Goddess has plans for you as an Episkopos, and you might consider creating your own sect from scratch, unhindered. Episkoposes are not competing with each other, and they are all POEE priests anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that Episkoposes are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain top. See the section “Discordian Society”

 

ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST

There are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you want to be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtedly qualify. Who could possibly know better than you whether or not you should be Ordained?

An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as “one who holds an Ordination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather.”

Seek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise And find ye delight in Her Great Surprise! Look into the Chao if thou wantest to know What’s in a Chao and why it ain’t so! (HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1)

World Council of Churches Boutique

Note to POEE Priests:

The Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians the POEE was conceived not as a commercial enterprise, and that you are requested to keep your cool when seeking funds for POEE Cabals or when spreading the POEE Word via the market place.

The Hidden stone ripens fast, then laid bare like a turnip can easily be cut out at last but even then the danger isn’t past. That man lives best who’s fain to live half mad, half sane. -Flemish Poet Jan Van Stijevoort, 1524.

The Erisian Affirmation

BEFORE THE GODDESS ERIS, I (name or holyname), do herewith declare myself a POEE BROTHER of THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!

the presiding POEE Official (if any) responds:

 

ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!

find the goddess Eris To Diverse Gods Within your Pineal Gland Do Mortals bow; POEE Holy Cow, and Wholly Chao -Rev. Dr. Grindlebone Monroe Cabal “common sense is what tells you that the world is flat.”This is St. Gulik. He is the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age from ours called him Hermes. Many people called him by many names. He is a Roach Legion of Dynamic Discord HARK RECOGNIZE that the — DISCORDIAN SOCIETY — doth hereby certify As a Legionnaire Glory to We Children of ERIS Presented under the auspices of our Lady of Discord, ERIS by the House of the Apostles of ERIS. ->

 

HOW TO START A POEE CABAL WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER

If you can’t find the Polyfather, or having found him, don’t want anything to do with him, you are still authorized to form your own POEE CABAL and do Priestly Things, using the Principia Discordia as a guide. Your Official Rank will be POEE CHAPLIN for the LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD, which is exactly the same as a POEE PRIEST except that you don’t have an Ordination Certificate. The words you are now reading are your ordination.

HOW TO BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN

  1. Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in five copies.
  2. Sign and nose-print each copy.
  3. Send one to the President of the United States.
  4. Send one to The California State Bureau of Furniture and Bedding 1021 ‘D’ Street, Sacramento CA 94814
  5. Nail one to a telephone pole. Hide one. And burn the other. Then consult your pineal gland.

General License was Sgt. Pepper’s Commander

 

~~ OLD POEE SLOGAN ~~ When in Doubt, Fuck it. When not in Doubt… get in Doubt!

 

Trip 5!

 

= The POEE Baptismal Rite =

This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.

1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something.

2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians.

3) The Priest begins: I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations, offices, etc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye:

 

ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING?

The Initiate answers YES.

THAT’S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF?

The Initiate answers YES.

HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED?

He answers YES.

VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT?

The Initiate answers PROBABLY.

THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME:

(The Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION.)

The Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE (name), LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL ERIS! HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES!

4) All present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of wine and offers it to all who are present.

5) The Ceremony generally degenerates.

Mord says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway.

 

DO NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP

 

  1. And though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that were both sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box containing the cards designated by the Angel as The Honest Book of Truth, the Collector was to him as one who might be smitten deaf, saying only: ‘Gainst the rules, y’know.

HBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap 2

Answers: 1. Harry Houdini 2. Swing Music 3. Pretzels 4. 8 months 5. Testy Culbert 6. It protrudes. 7. No vocal cords

 

THE POEE MYSTEREE OATH

The Initiate swears the following:

FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!!

(Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to substitute the German:

FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE!

or perhaps

WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!! which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.)

THE RECENT EXPOSE THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE, CANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS BROTHER CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT IS MR. MOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWALLOW HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER OF ’44.

Corrections to last week’s copy: Johnny Sample is offensive cornerback for the New York Jets, not fullback as stated. Bobby Tolan’s name is not Randy, but mud. All power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb.

“This statement is false” (courtesy of POEE)

 

NO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME!

 

THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY

The Discordian Society has no definition.

I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People’s Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers “The World’s Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are.” Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won’t say. You can think of it any way you like.

AN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him. He speaks for himself and for those that say that they like what he says.

THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own sect.

If you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don’t.

There are no rules anywhere. Some Episkoposes The Goddess Prevails. have a one-man cabal. Some work together. Some never do explain. When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see you again! Helter Skelter! -John Lennon “Everybody I know who is right always agrees with ME” -Rev Lady Mal

 

THE GOLDEN APPLE CORPS

The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred Chao, so that they can put “KSC” after their names.

It says little, does less, means nothing.

* Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We thought of it first.

 

– The Numeral V sign –

Used by Old Roman Discordians, Illuminatus Churchill, and innocent Hippies everywhere.

PERPETUAL DATE CONVERTER FROM GREGORIAN TO POEE CALENDAR

Seasons

  1. Chaos – Patron Apostle Hung Mung
  2. Discord – Patron Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo
  3. Confusion – Patron Apostle Sri Syadasti
  4. Bureaucracy – Patron Apostle Zarathud
  5. The Aftermath – Patron Apostle The Elder Malaclypse

Days of the Week*

  1. Sweetmorn
  2. Boomtime
  3. Pungenday
  4. Prickle-Prickle
  5. Setting Orange

(* The days of the week are named from the five Basic Elements: sweet, boom, pungent, prickle, and orange)

HOLYDAYS

  1. A) APOSTLE HOLYDAYS B) SEASON HOLYDAYS 1) Mungday 1) Chaoflux 2) Mojoday 2) Discoflux 3) Syaday 3) Confuflux 4) Zaraday 4) Bureflux 5) Maladay 5) Afflux Each occurs on the 5th Each occurs on the 50th day of the Season day of each Season C) ST. TIB’S DAY – occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5) and is inserted between the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos SM BT PD PP SO SM BT PD PP SO — — — — — — — — — — Jan 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Chs Jul 5 6 7 8 9 40 41 42 43 44 Cfn 6 7 8 9 10 6 7 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 45 46 47 48 49 11 12 13 14 15 11 12 13 14 15 15 16 17 18 19 50 51 52 53 54 16 17 18 19 20 16 17 18 19 20 20 21 22 23 24 55 56 57 58 59 21 22 23 24 25 21 22 23 24 25 25 26 27 28 29 60 61 62 63 64 26 27 28 29 30 26 27 28 29 30 30 31 1 2 3 65 66 67 68 69 31 1 2 3 4 31 32 33 34 35 Aug 4 5 6 7 8 70 71 72 73 1 Bcy Feb 5 6 7 8 9 36 37 38 39 40 9 10 11 12 13 2 3 4 5 6 10 11 12 13 14 41 42 43 44 45 14 15 16 17 18 7 8 9 10 11 15 16 17 18 19 46 47 48 49 50 19 20 21 22 23 12 13 14 15 16 20 21 22 23 24 51 52 53 54 55 24 25 26 27 28 17 18 19 20 21 25 26 27 28* 1 56 57 58 59 60 29 30 31 1 2 22 23 24 25 26 Mar 2 3 4 5 6 61 62 63 64 65 Sep 3 4 5 6 7 27 28 29 30 31 7 8 9 10 11 66 67 68 69 70 8 9 10 11 12 32 33 34 35 36 12 13 14 15 16 71 72 73 1 2 Dsc 13 14 15 16 17 37 38 39 40 41 17 18 19 20 21 3 4 5 6 7 18 19 20 21 22 42 43 44 45 46 22 23 24 25 26 8 9 10 11 12 23 24 25 26 27 47 48 49 50 51 27 28 29 30 31 13 14 15 16 17 28 29 30 1 2 52 53 54 55 56 Apr 1 2 3 4 5 18 19 20 21 22 Oct 3 4 5 6 7 57 58 59 60 61 6 7 8 9 10 23 24 25 26 27 8 9 10 11 12 62 63 64 65 66 11 12 13 14 15 28 29 30 31 32 13 14 15 16 17 67 68 69 70 71 16 17 18 19 20 33 34 35 36 37 18 19 20 21 22 72 73 1 2 3 Afm 21 22 23 24 25 38 39 40 41 42 23 24 25 26 27 4 5 6 7 8 26 27 28 29 30 43 44 45 46 47 28 29 30 31 1 9 10 11 12 13 May 1 2 3 4 5 48 49 50 51 52 Nov 2 3 4 5 6 14 15 16 17 18 6 7 8 9 10 53 54 55 56 57 7 8 9 10 11 19 20 21 22 23 11 12 13 14 15 58 59 60 61 62 12 13 14 15 16 24 25 26 27 28 16 17 18 19 20 63 64 65 66 67 17 18 19 20 21 29 30 31 32 33 21 22 23 24 25 68 69 70 71 72 22 23 24 25 26 34 35 36 37 38 26 27 28 29 30 73 1 2 3 4 Cfn 27 28 29 30 1 39 40 41 42 43 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Dec 2 3 4 5 6 44 45 46 47 48 Jun 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 7 8 9 10 11 49 50 51 52 53 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 12 13 14 15 16 54 55 56 57 58 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 17 18 19 20 21 59 60 61 62 63 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 22 23 24 25 26 64 65 66 67 68 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 27 28 29 30 31 69 70 71 72 73 30 1 2 3 4 35 36 37 38 39 [1991 = 3157] [Next St. Tibs Day in 3158]

 

HOLY NAMES

Discordians have a tradition of assuming HOLY NAMES. This is not unique to Erisianism, of course. I suppose that Pope Paul is the son of Mr. and Mrs. VI?

And also TITLES OF MYSTICAL IMPORT.

Will whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun’s pornography please return it.

THE BEARER OF THIS CARD IS A GENUINE AND AUTHORIZED ~ POPE ~ So please Treat Him Right GOOD FOREVER Genuine and authorized by The House of Apostles of ERIS

Every man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope Reproduce and distribute these cards freely- POEE Head Temple, San Francisco A =POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities.For Your Enlightenment.

 

THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA

by Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P. POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal

When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc’s intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying “it is bitter tea that involves you so.” Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice.

And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.

 

“The Five Laws have root in awareness.” –Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85) The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they’ll go there if they don’t. HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1

 

A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE

One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?

“O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!”

 

WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON’T SOUND WELL.

“I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe.”

 

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?

“But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it.”

 

  1. WELL, THEN STOP.

At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.

SINISTER DEXTER HAS A BROKEN SPIROMETER.

Lau Tzu say…

Posted on by under Philosophy, Religion

The way that can be spoken of

Is not the constant way;

The name that can be named

Is not the constant name.

The nameless was the beginning of heaven and earth;

The named was the mother of the myriad creatures.

Hence always rid yourself of desires in order to observe its manifestations.

But always allow yourself to have desires in order to observe its manifestations.

These two are the same

But diverge in name as they issue forth.

Being the same they are called mysteries,

Mystery upon mystery –

The gateway of the manifold secrets.

…

The whole world recognizes the beautiful as the beautiful,

yet this is only the ugly; the whole world recognizes the

good as the good, yet this is only the bad.

Thus Something and Nothing produce each other;

The difficult and the easy complement each other;

The long and the short offset each other;

The high and the low incline towards each other;

Note and sound harmonize with each other;

Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the sage keeps to the deed that consists in taking

no action and practices the teaching that uses no words.

The myriad creatures rise from it yet it claims no authority;

It gives them life yet claims no possession;

It benefits them yet exacts no gratitude;

It accomplishes its task yet lays claim to no merit.

It is because it lays claim to no merit

That its merit never deserts it.

…

Therefore in governing the people, the sage empties their minds but fills their bellies, weakens their wills, but strengthens their bones. He always keep them innocent of knowledge and free from desire, and ensures that the clever never dare to act.

Do that which consists in taking no action, and order will prevail.

…

Heaven and earth are ruthless, and treat the myriad creatures as straw dogs;

the sage is ruthless, and treats the people as straw dogs.

Is not the space between heaven and earth like a bellows?

It is empty without being exhausted:

The more it works the more comes out.

Much speech leads inevitably to silence.

Better to hold fast to the void.

…

The five colours make man’s eyes blind;

The five notes make his ears deaf;

The five tastes injure his palate;

Riding and hunting

Make his mind go wild with excitement;

…

The reason I have great trouble is that I have a body. When I no longer have a body, what trouble have I?

…

The ability to know the beginning of antiquity

Is called the thread running through the Way.

…

Of old he who was well versed in the Way

Was minutely subtle, mysteriously comprehending,

And too profound to be known.

…

I do my utmost to attain emptiness;

I hold firmly to stillness.

…

Returning to one’s roots is known as stillness.

This is what is meant by returning to one’s destiny.

Returning to one’s destiny is known as the constant.

Knowledge of the constant is known as discernment.

Woe to him who willfully innovates

While ignorant of the constant.

…

The best of all rulers is but a shadowy presence to his subjects.

Next comes the ruler they love and praise;

Next comes one they fear;

Next comes one with whom they take liberties.

Where there is not enough faith, there is lack of good faith.

Hesitant, he does not utter words lightly.

When his task is accomplished and his work done

The people all say, “It happened to us naturally.”

…

When the great way falls into disuse

There are benevolence and rectitude;

When cleverness emerges

There is great hypocrisy.

…

Exterminate the sage, discard the wise,

And the people will benefit a hundredfold;

Exterminate benevolence, discard rectitude,

And the people will again be filial.

…

Have little thought of self and as few desires as possible.

…

Exterminate learning and there will no longer be worries.

Between yea and nay

How much difference is there?

Between good and evil

How great is the distance?

…

The multitude are joyous

I alone am inactive and reveal no signs,

My mind is that of a food – how blank!

Vulgar people are clear.

I alone am drowsy.

Vulgar people are alert.

I alone am muddled.

Calm like the sea;

Like a high wind that never ceases.

The multitude all have a purpose.

I alone am foolish and uncouth.

I alone am different from others

And value being fed by the mother.

…

To use words but rarely

Is to be natural.

…

A man of the way conforms to the way;

A man of virtue conforms to virtue;

A man of loss conforms to loss.

He who conforms to the way is gladly accepted by the way;

He who conforms to virtue is gladly accepted by virtue;

He who conforms to loss is gladly accepted by loss.

He who shows himself is not conspicuous;

He who considers himself right is not illustrious;

He who brags will have no merit;

He who boasts will not endure.

…

One who knows does not speak; one who speaks does not know.

Block the openings;

Shut the doors.

Blunt the sharpness;

Untangle the knots;

Soften the glare;

Let your wheels move only along old ruts.

This is known as mysterious sameness.

…

The whole world says that my way is vast and resembles nothing. It is because it is vast that it resembles nothing. If it resembled anything, it would, long before now, have become small.

…

My words are very easy to understand and very easy to put into practice, yet no one in the world can understand them or put them into practice.

Words have an ancestor and affairs have a sovereign.

It is because people are ignorant that they fail to understand me.

Those who understand me are few;

Those who imitate me are honoured.

Therefore the sage, while clad in homespun, conceals on his person a priceless piece of jade.

…

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;

Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.

It is by being alive to difficulty that one can avoid it.

The sage meets with no difficulty.

It is because he is alive to it that he meets with no difficulty.

…

Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive; persuasive words are not good. He who knows has no wide learning; he who has wide learning does not know.

…

There is a thing confusedly formed,

Born before heaven and earth.

Silent and void

It stands alone and does not change,

Goes round and does not weary.

It is capable of being the mother of the world.

I know not its name

So I style it “the way.”

– Tao Te Ching

————————————–

@ Lao Tzu: I understand your Tao, your “Way.” I appreciate the existential nature of the Tao (from 500 years BC mind you!) and your advice on governing the people and wartime strategy. But going with the flow and following the way of Heaven just to avoid difficulty is too good. Embrace the hunt. Embrace the dark side as well as the way of Heaven. For they are one.

 

Kierkegaard Attacked the Christianity of the Church, Nietzsche Attacked Christendom as Such

Posted on by under Kierkegaard, Philosophy, Religion

When the question about truth is asked objectively, truth is reflected upon objectively as an object to which the knower relates himself. What is reflected upon is not the relation but that what he relates himself to is the truth, the true. If only that to which he relates himself is the truth, the true, then the subject is in the truth. When the question about truth is asked subjectively, the individual’s relation is reflected upon subjectively. If only the how of this relation is in truth, the individual is in truth, even if he in this way were to relate himself to untruth.

Objectively the emphasis is on what is said; subjectively the emphasis is on how it is said.

…

When subjectivity is truth, the definition of truth must also contain in itself an expression of the antithesis to objectivity, a memento of that fork in the road, and this expression will at the same time indicate the resilience of the inwardness.

Here is such a definition of truth: An objective uncertainty, held fast through appropriration with the most passionate inwardness, is the truth, the highest truth there is for an existing person.

At the point where the road swings off (and where that is cannot be stated objectively, since it is precisely subjectivity), objective knowledge is suspended. Objectively he then has only uncertainty, but this is precisely what intensifies the infinite passion of inwardness, and truth is precisely the daring venture of choosing the objective uncertainty with the passion of the infinite.

I observe nature in order to find God, and I do indeed see omnipotence and wisdom, but I also see much that troubles and disturbs. The sum total of this is an objective uncertainty, but the inwardness is so very great, precisely because it grasps this objective uncertainty with all the passion of the infinite.

In a mathematical proposition, for example, the objectivity is given, but therefore its truth is also an indifferent truth.

But the definition of truth stated above is a paraphrasing of faith. Without risk, no faith. Faith is the contradiction between the infinite passion of inwardness and the objective uncertainty. If I am able to apprehend God objectively, I do not have faith; but because I cannot do this, I must have faith.

…

Sin is: before God in despair not to will to be oneself, or before God in despair to will to be oneself.

Very often, however, it is overlooked that the opposite of sin is by no means virtue. In part, this is a pagan view, which is satisfied with a merely human criterion and simply does not know what sin is, that all sin is before God.

No, the opposite of sin is faith, as it says in Romans 14:23: “whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” And this is one of the most decisive definitions for all Christianity – that the opposite of sin is not virtue but faith.

The thought of death is a nimble dancer. Everybody is too serious for me. My whole thought is the task of becoming a Christian.

– Søren Kierkegaard

—————————

“Merciful Heavens! but what do I care for the laws of nature and arithmetic, when, for some reason, I dislike those laws and the fact that twice two makes four? … I write only for myself, and I wish to declare once and for all that if I write as though I were addressing readers, that is simply because it is easier for me to write in that form. It is a form, an empty form – I shall never have readers.”

– Dostoevsky (Notes from Underground)

Kierkegaard Aphorisms

Posted on by under Kierkegaard, Philosophy

“I have just now come from a party where I was its life and soul; witticisms streamed from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me, but I went away — yes, the dash should be as long as the radius of the earth’s orbit ——————————— and wanted to shoot myself.”

“I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.”

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”

“Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him, for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low, could still be saved; the bitterest enemy and also he who was your friend could again be your friend; love that has grown cold can kindle.”

“God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say. Yes, to be sure, but He does what is still more wonderful: He makes saints out of sinners.”

“Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth — look at the dying man’s struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment.”

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

“A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that’s just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it’s a joke.”

“The truth is a trap: you cannot get it without it getting you; you cannot get the truth by capturing it, only by its capturing you.”

“What the age needs is not a genius — it has had geniuses enough, but a martyr, who in order to teach men to obey would himself be obedient unto death. What the age needs is awakening. And therefore someday, not only my writings but my whole life, all the intriguing mystery of the machine will be studied and studied. I never forget how God helps me, and it is therefore my last wish that everything may be to his honour.”

“The opposite of sin is not virtue but faith”

“The supreme paradox of all thought is the attempt to discover something that thought cannot think.”

“In relation to their systems most systematisers are like a man who builds an enormous castle and lives in a shack close by; they do not live in their own enormous systematic buildings.”

“What the philosophers say about Reality is often as disappointing as a sign you see in a shop window which reads: Pressing Done Here. If you brought your clothes to be pressed, you would be fooled; for only the sign is for sale.”

Life Beyond Logic

Posted on by under Philosophy, Psychology

The rational is not thinkable without its other, the non-rational, and it never appears in reality without it. The only question is, in what form the other appears, how it remains in spite of all, and how it is to be grasped.

It is appropriate for philosophizing to strive to absorb the non-rational and counter-rational, to form it through reason, to change it into a form of reason, indeed, finally to show it as identical with reason; all Being should become law and order.

But both the defiant will and honest mind turn against this. They recognize and assert the unconquerable non-rational.

…

We wish to subordinate ourselves to the natural character of impulses and passions, to the immediacy of what is now present. These drives are now translated by the philosophy which adheres to them into a knowledge of the non-rational: philosophy expresses its falling into the non-rational, the counter-rational, and the super-rational as a knowledge about them. Yet, even in the most radical defiance of reason, there remains a minimum of rationality.

For Aristotle, there were men, the alogoi, who had a better principle than deliberative reason; their affairs succeeded without and even counter to reason.

…

The contemporary philosophical situation is determined by the fact that two philosophers, Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, who did not count in their times and, for a long time, remained without influence in the history of philosophy, have continually grown in significance. Philosophers after Hegel have increasingly returned to face them, and they stand today unquestioned as the authentically great thinkers of their age. Both their influence and the opposition to them prove it. Why then can these philosophers no longer be ignored, in our time?

In the situation of philosophizing, as well as in the real life of men, Kierkegaard and Nietzsche appear as the expression of destinies…

…

Whoever even once thought he heard softly the authentic philosophic note can never tire of trying to communicate it.

– Karl Jaspers

———————————

Who has thought about the deepest, loves what is most alive. – Hölderlin

Every metaphysical question can only be put in such a way that the questioner as such is by his very questioning involved in the question. – Heidegger

Is a Revolutionist a Terrorist?

Posted on by under Philosophy, Politics

If so, considering the original spirit of the 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, is an American revolution even possible?

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

– Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

– Declaration of Independence of the United States of America

Revolution

noun

  1. an overthrow or repudiation and the thorough replacement of an established government or political system by the people governed.
  2. Sociology– a radical and pervasive change in society and the social structure, especially one made suddenly and often accompanied by violence. Compare social evolution.
  3. a sudden, complete or marked change in something: the present revolution in church architecture.
  4. a procedure or course, as if in a circuit, back to a starting point.
  5. a single turn of this kind.

Revolutionist

noun

  1. a person who advocates or takes part in a revolution.

adjective

  1. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a revolution; revolutionary: revolutionist ideals.

Terrorism

noun

  1. the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes.
  2. the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.
  3. a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government.

Terrorist

noun

  1. a person, usually a member of a group, who uses or advocates terrorism.
  2. a person who terrorizes or frightens others.
  3. (formerly) a member of a political group in Russia aiming at the demoralization of the government by terror.
  4. an agent or partisan of the revolutionary tribunal during the Reign of Terror in France.

adjective

  1. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of terrorism or terrorists: terrorist tactics.

Of course, a physically aggressive revolutionist would be, ipso facto, an enemy of the state. Were not the participants in the American Revolutionary War considered enemies of the state by King George? Is the only difference between a terrorist and a revolutionist that the former will attack civilians, while the latter limits its warfare to an established army?

Is a revolution even possible in the first world civilization of the 21st century?

Great Doubt, Great Death, Great Awakening

Posted on by under Education, History, Philosophy, Religion

The Kyoto School of Philosophy

The Kyoto School (京都学派, Kyōto-gakuha) is the name given to the Japanese philosophical movement centered at Kyoto University that assimilated western philosophy and religious ideas and used them to reformulate religious and moral insights unique to the East Asian cultural tradition.”[1] However, it is also used to describe several postwar scholars from various disciplines who have taught at the same university, been influenced by the foundational thinkers of Kyoto school philosophy, and who have developed distinctive theories of Japanese uniqueness. To disambiguate the term, therefore, thinkers and writers covered by this second sense appear under The Kyoto University Research Centre for the Cultural Sciences.

Beginning roughly in 1913 with Nishida Kitaro, it survived the serious controversy it garnered after World War II to develop into a well-known and active movement. However, it is not a “school” of philosophy in the traditional sense of the phrase, such as with the Frankfurt School or Plato’s Academy. Instead, the group of academics gathered around Kyoto University as a de facto meeting place, and as its founder, Nishida, steadfastly encouraged independent thinking.

According to James Heisig, the name “Kyoto School” was first used in 1932 by a student of Nishida and Hajime Tanabe. Tosaka Jun (1900–45) considered himself to be part of the ‘Marxist left-wing’ of the school.[2] Afterwards, the media and other academic institutions outside of Japan began to use the moniker, and by the 1970s it had become a universal title – practically by default.

Contents

  • 1 History
  • 2 Significance of its notable members
    • 1 Kitaro Nishida
    • 2 Hajime Tanabe
    • 3 Keiji Nishitani
    • 4 Masao Abe
    • 5 Shizuteru Ueda
    • 6 Eshin Nishimura
  • 3 Criticism of the Kyoto School
  • 4 Members
  • 5 Suggested reading
    • 1 Readings byindividual members
    • 2 Secondary sources onindividual members
  • 6 References
  • 7 External links

History

Masao Abe writes in his introduction to a new English translation of Nishida’s magnum opus, that if one thinks of philosophy in terms of Kant or Hegel, then there is no philosophy taking place in Japan. But if it is instead thought of in terms of the tradition carried out by Augustine and Kierkegaard, then Japan has a rich philosophical history, composed of the great thinkers Kūkai, Shinran, Dōgen, and others.[3]

The group of philosophers involved with the Kyoto School in its nearly 100 year history is a diverse one. Individual members often come from very different social backgrounds. At the same time, in the heat of intellectual they did not hesitate to criticise each others’ work.

The following criteria roughly characterize the features of this school:

  1. Teaching at Kyoto University or at a nearby affiliated school
  2. Share some basic assumptions about using Asian thought in the framework of western philosophical tradition.
  3. Introduce and rationally investigate the meaning of “nothingness” and its importance in the history of philosophical debate.
  4. Expand on the philosophical vocabulary introduced by Nishida.

Generally, most were strongly influenced by the German philosophical tradition, especially the thought of Kant, Hegel, Nietzsche, and Heidegger. In addition, many employed their cultural resources in formulating their philosophy and bringing it to play to add to the philosophical enterprise. However, while their work was not expressly religious it was informed significantly by it. For example, both Tanabe and Keiji Nishitani wrote on Christianity and Buddhism and identified common elements between the two religions.[4] For this reason, some scholars classify the intellectual products of the school as “religious philosophy.”

Although the group was fluidic and largely informal, traditionally whoever occupied the Chair of the Department of Modern Philosophy at the University of Kyoto was considered its leader. Nishida was the first, from 1913 to 1928. Hajime Tanabe succeeded him until the mid-1930s. By this time, Nishitani had graduated from Kyoto University, studied with Martin Heidegger for two years in Germany, and returned to a teaching post since 1928. From 1955 to 1963, Nishitani officially occupied the Chair and since his departure, leadership of the school has crumbled – turning the movement into a very decentralized group of philosophers with common beliefs and common interests.

Significance of its notable members

The significance of the group continues to grow, especially in American departments of religion and philosophy. Since the mid-1980s, there has been a growing interest in East/West dialogue, especially inter-faith scholarship. Masao Abe traveled to both coasts of the United States on professorships, and lectured to many groups on Buddhist-Christian relations.

In addition, although Daisetz Teitaro Suzuki was closely connected to the Kyoto school and in some ways critical to the development of thought that occurred there—indeed, Suzuki personally knew Nishida, Tanabe, and Nishitani—he is not considered a true member of the group.[5]

Kitaro Nishida

Main article: Kitaro Nishida

Nishida, the school’s founder, is most known for his groundbreaking work An Inquiry into the Good and later for his elucidation of the “logic of basho” (Japanese: ??; usually translated as “place,” or the Greek topos) – which brought him fame outside of Japan, and contributed largely to the attention later paid to philosophers from the Kyoto School.

Nishida’s work is notable for a few reasons, chief among them however is how much they are related to the German tradition of philosophy since Schopenhauer. The logic of basho is a non-dualistic ‘concrete’ logic, meant to overcome the inadequacy of the subject-object distinction essential to the subject logic of Aristotle and the predicate logic of Kant, through the affirmation of what he calls the ‘absolutely contradictory self-identity’, a dynamic tension of opposites that, unlike the dialectical logic of Hegel, does not resolve in a synthesis, but rather defines its proper subject by maintaining the tension between affirmation and negation as opposite poles or perspectives.

Nishitani describes East Asian philosophy as something very different from what the Western tradition of Descartes, Leibniz or Hume would indicate,

It is ‘intuitive and practical,’ with its emphasis on religious aspects of experience not lending themselves readily to theoretical description. True wisdom is to be distinguished from intellectual understanding of the kind appropriate to the sciences. The ‘appropriation’ of Nishida’s thought,…’embraces difficulties entirely different from those of intellectual understanding’…and those who ‘pretend to understand much but do not really understand, no matter how much they intellectually understand’ are the object of his scorn.[1]

Before his death Nishida wrote The Logic of Place and the Religious Worldview, developing more fully the religious implications of his work and philosophy through “Absolute Nothingness,” which “contains its own absolute self-negation within itself.”[6] By this Nishida means that, while the divine is dynamically paradoxical, it should not be construed as pantheism or transcendent theism. Both Nishitani and Abe spent much of their academic lives dedicated to this development of nothingness and the Absolute, leading on occasion topanentheism.[citation needed]

Hajime Tanabe

Main article: Hajime Tanabe

Keiji Nishitani

Main article: Keiji Nishitani

Nishitani, one of Nishida’s main disciples, would become the doyen in the post-war period. Nishitani’s works, such as his Religion and Nothingness, primarily dealt with the Western notion of nihilism, inherited from Nietzsche, and religious interpretation of nothingness, as found in the Buddhist idea of sunyata and the specifically Zen Buddhist concept of mu.

Masao Abe

Main article: Masao Abe

Shizuteru Ueda

A disciple of Keiji Nishitani.

Main article: Shizuteru Ueda

Eshin Nishimura

Main article: Eshin Nishimura

Criticism of the Kyoto School

Today, there is a great deal of critical research into the school’s role prior to and during the Second World War. Hajime Tanabe bears the greatest brunt of the criticism for bringing his work on the “Logic of Species” into Japanese politics, which was used to buttress the militarist project to formulate imperialist ideology and propaganda. Tanabe’s notion is that the logical category of “species” and nation are equivalent, and each nation or “species” provides a fundamental set of characteristics which define and determine the lives and outlooks of those who participate in it.

Some western scholars think this criticism of the Kyoto School is inaccurate and spurious.[7] They have shown that Tanabe did not support the war effort and that Nishitani tried to organize intellectuals to question and criticize the growing militarism of the Tojo junta. This scholarly work attempts to provide an historical understanding of these thinkers’ work in terms of opposition to western colonial imperialism at the same as the thinkers opposed fascist reactionary politics.[8]

Members

  • Kitaro Nishida: 1870 – 1945 (KU Philosophy Dept. 1910-13, Chair 1913-28)
  • Hajime Tanabe: 1885 – 1962 (KU Philosophy Dept. ?, Chair, 1928-35?)
  • Keiji Nishitani: 1900 – 1990 (KU Philosophy Dept. 1928-35, Chair 1935-63)
  • Masao Abe
  • Miki Kiyoshi
  • Hisamatsu Shinichi
  • Shizuteru Ueda
  • Saneshige Komaki
  • Yamanouchi Tokuryu
  • Takeuchi Yoshinori

Suggested reading

Scholarly books

  • The Buddha Eye: An Anthology of the Kyoto School.Edited by Frederick Franck. New York: Crossroad Publishing, 1982.

—Seventeen essays, most from The Eastern Buddhist, on Zen and Pure Land Buddhism.

—Anthology of texts by Kyoto scholars themselves, with additional biographical essays.

  • The Thought of the Kyoto School,edited by Ohashi Ryosuke. 2004.

—Collection of essays dealing with the history of its name, and its members contributions to philosophy.

  • Philosophers of Nothingnessby James Heisig. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, 2001. ISBN 0-8248-2481-4

—Excellent introduction to the School’s history and content; includes rich multilingual bibliography.

  • Absolute Nothingness: Foundations for a Buddhist-Christian Dialogue,Hans Waldenfels. New York: Paulist Press, 1980.

—Good early work, focuses mostly on Nishitani’s relevance for the perspective of Buddhist-Christian dialogue.

  • James W. Heisig, John C. Maraldo (Ed.): “Rude Awakenings. Zen, the Kyoto School, & the Question of Nationalism”, Honololu: University of Hawaii Press, 1994.

Journal articles

  • “The Religious Philosophy of the Kyoto School: An Overview,” by James Heisig.Japanese Journal of Religious Studies17, No.1, (1990), p51-81.
  • “Heidegger and Buddhism,” by T. Umehara. Philosophy East and West,20 (1970), p271-281.
  • “Nishida’s Philosophy of ‘Place’,” by Masao Abe, International Philosophical Quarterly28, No.4 (Winter 1988), p. 355-371.
  • “In Memoriam: Keiji Nishitani (1900-1990),” by E. Kawamura-Hanoka. Buddhist-Christian Studies,12 (1992), p241-245.

Readings by individual members

For further information, see the Nanzan Institute’s Complete Bibliography for all Kyoto School members

  • Kitaro Nishida, An Inquiry into the Good,Translated by Masao Abe and Christopher Ives. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1987 (1921).
  • ——, Art and Morality,Translated by D. Dilworth and Valdo Viglielmo. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, 1973.
  • ——, Intelligibility and the Philosophy of Nothingness,Translated by Robert Schinzinger. Westport: 1958.
  • Tanabe, Hajime, “Demonstratio of Christianity”, in Introduction to the philosophy of Tanabe: According to the English translation of the seventh chapter of the demonstratio of Christianity, translated by Makoto Ozaki, Rodopi Bv Editions, January 1990, ISBN 90-5183-205-2,ISBN 978-90-5183-205-1, ASIN B0006F1CBU.
  • –, “The Logic of The Species as Dialectics,” trns. David Dilworth; Taira Sato, inMonumenta Nipponica, Vol. 24, No. 3, 1969, pp. 273-288. [Available as pdf through JSTOR]
  • –, Philosophy as Metanoetics(Nanzan studies in religion and culture), Yoshinori Takeuchi, Valdo Viglielmo, and James W. Heisig (Translators), University of California Press, April 1987, ISBN 0-520-05490-3.
  • Keiji Nishitani, Religion and Nothingness,Berkeley: University of California Press, 1982. ISBN 0-520-04946-2
  • ——, The Self-overcoming of Nihilism,translated by Graham Parkes and Setsuko Aihara. Albany: State University of New York Press, 1990.
  • Yoshinori Takeuchi, The Heart of Buddhism,translated by James Heisig. New York: 1983.

Secondary sources on individual members

  • Nishida Kitaro,by Nishitani Keiji, translated by Yamamoto Sesaku and James Heisig. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1991.
  • The Religious Philosophy of Tanabe Hajime,edited by Taitetsu Unno and James Heisig. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1990.
  • The Religious Philosophy of Nishitani Keiji,edited by Taitetsu Unno. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1990.

References

  1. ^ a b D.S. Clarke, Jr. “Introduction” in Nishida Kitaro by Nishitani Keiji, 1991.
  2. ^ Heisig 2001, p.4
  3. ^ Masao Abe, “Introduction” in An Inquiry into the Good, 1987, (1921).
  4. ^ Tanabe in Philosophy as Metanoetics and Demonstratio of Christianity, and Nishitani in Religion and Nothingness and On Buddhism.
  5. ^ Robert Lee, “Review of The Buddha Eye: An Anthology of the Kyoto School,” in The Journal of Asian Studies, Vol.42, No.4 (Aug.,1983).
  6. ^ The Kyoto School (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
  7. ^ Parkes, Graham, ‘Heidegger and Japanese Fascism: An Unsubstantiated Connection,’ in Japanese and Continental Philosophy, Indiana University press, 2011. Parkes exposes the shabby scholarship of the accusers of the Kyoto School, while leaving open the question of what exactly the politics of the Kyoto school philosophers consisted in.
  8. ^ David Williams, Defending Japan’s Pacific War: The Kyoto School philosophers and post-White power Routledge Curzon, London and New York 2004

External links

  • Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy
  • The Fascist Next Door? Nishitani Keiji and the ChuokoronDiscussions in Perspective, Discussion Paper by Xiaofei Tu in the electronic journal of contemporary Japanese studies, 27 July 2006.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyoto_School